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To Archive / yosuke-hanamura_1
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/4/2020 10:13 PM
I hope you're able to take a break soon. Things seem to be really heavy for you lately and though this may be out of the blue. . .but you seem like a good person.
10:13 PM
And I think your life should reflect that.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/4/2020 10:18 PM
Haru... Heh... You barely know me and you're already saying such things... But thank you. You're an incredibly kind person yourself... I should... probably confess something... but... can it be a secret? Between the two of us? I don't want Kana-chan to know.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/4/2020 10:20 PM
Certainly. And you should really be kinder to yourself! You're not as awful as you seem to think you are.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/4/2020 10:21 PM
Haha, thanks... I hope you're right about that... Well... that girl that I was talking about... the one that died when I was a teenager... She was murdered. By... by Adachi. (edited)
10:22 PM
I know my spat with him was public and you and Goro are in there a lot so...
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/4/2020 10:22 PM
Oh. I'm. . .I'm so sorry.
10:22 PM
No wonder you were so upset.
10:22 PM
Her words must have really hurt you. . .
10:22 PM
Is there anything we can do to remove him?
10:23 PM
I only know what you've told me and what the articles have said but that's. . .quite a lot.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/4/2020 10:25 PM
Doubtful. Knowing this stupid app, it can't even be removed, how can we even remove people? ... it did hurt. But she tends to be pretty naive. I know I should tell her, but I don't want her to be guilty, either. It's a tough situation. I know I already did this with Nozomi-chan, and she still trusts me, but... It's just a lot. All of this is a lot. Sorry. Sorry to go off on you like this. You have enough of your own stuff to deal with, Haru.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/4/2020 10:26 PM
It's alright, thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. It will help me keep the people I care about safe.
10:26 PM
Though, if you'll allow me to be forward for a moment.
10:26 PM
I think you should tell her.
10:26 PM
The short term guilt will outweigh how much it will hurt you both if you keep allowing her to defend him without knowing anything.
10:27 PM
Wouldn't you feel worse if you fought to defend someone only to find out about their misdeeds later? Knowing you lost friends over it?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/4/2020 10:29 PM
You're right... I know how much it would hurt her to be out of the know... Alright, I'll message her about it. Thanks... I guess I'm just... it's easy for me to be scared of hurting others, heh.
10:30 PM
I tend to... hurt others a lot I guess.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/4/2020 10:30 PM
It's alright, we all must work to be the best person we can be and you're working very hard.
10:31 PM
Overcoming that fear is the first step to becoming brave, Hana-chan. (๑´v`๑❁)
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/4/2020 10:32 PM
I guess, lol. But without fear comes recklessness, right? Because that's how it used to be-- I used to just recklessly just... say whatever. And I hurt so many people. And now... I dunno. I'll overcome it, I know, but... I guess I still need to be careful.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/4/2020 10:33 PM
You can be brave and thoughtful, you know.
10:33 PM
It doesn't have to be either or.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/4/2020 10:33 PM
I know... I'll try my best. Thanks, Haru.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/4/2020 10:37 PM
Anytime.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 8:47 PM
Pardon, I have a few questions to ask, if you don't mind.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 8:48 PM
oh, sure! yu and i just got home, so i have time. whats up?
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 8:49 PM
Well, it's bit personal but, if you'll excuse my rudeness. . .
8:49 PM
You said you were having trouble getting your internship, yes? Would you mind telling me what you were applying for?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 8:49 PM
Oh... that...
8:49 PM
It's... well...
8:50 PM
Promise not to judge me or nothing? Cause I know some people think guys trying to get into this field are perverts, even though I went to school for like, 7 years lol.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 8:51 PM
If it's your passion, who am I to judge?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 8:51 PM
Fair...
8:51 PM
I wanna be a Kindergarten teacher.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 8:52 PM
But, that's such a wonderful profession!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 8:52 PM
Yeah... it's something I've wanted to do for a while...
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 8:52 PM
I can't say I've ever seen you with children but, you said you've gone to school for it for a while, yes?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 8:53 PM
Yeah, I took a lot of extra classes, like childhood development and stuff, cause I know how hard it is to become a TA if you're, well... a guy.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 8:54 PM
I see.
8:54 PM
Would you be willing to accept if I offered my assistance?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 8:56 PM
Your assistance...? I mean... I guess it'd be kinda dumb not to, lol...
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 8:56 PM
I don't want you to resent me for it later.
8:56 PM
Are you certain?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 8:57 PM
No, it's fine! I've been kind of desperate to finally work in my field and get out of Junes, lol
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 8:57 PM
I'm sad to take you from your juniors who adore you so much but, I'd be happy to assist.
8:57 PM
Give me a moment?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 8:58 PM
Oh, sure...
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 8:58 PM
When is your next day off?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 8:58 PM
Oh man... let me see...
8:59 PM
Wednesday.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 8:59 PM
Splendid!
9:00 PM
Five or so minutes later he'll get an email alert about a trial/training period at an employee daycare center at one of the Okumura Foods office buildings on Wednesday morning.
9:01 PM
Don't be late!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 9:02 PM
WHAT... SERIOUSLY?
9:02 PM
Haru, are you sure!?
9:02 PM
Is it ok for me to work here!?
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 9:03 PM
It's only a trial, you're the one who has to prove your own capabilities.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 9:04 PM
Of course... but thank you for the opportunity. I'm not gonna make anyone uncomfortable by being there, am I?
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 9:05 PM
Anyone who's uncomfortable with a new employee is free to leave at any time.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 9:05 PM
I... I get that, but..
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 9:05 PM
Are you telling me you're a suspicious person?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 9:05 PM
No! Not at all!
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 9:05 PM
Then you've nothing to worry about. ੧(❛▿❛✿) (edited)
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 9:06 PM
I understand... thank you so much. I promise not to ruin the opportunity you've given me, Haru. Thank you.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 9:06 PM
I look forward to your results, Hana-chan! (❁꒪▿꒪)*
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 9:06 PM
Thanks... Would you be hearing about them? Like, as the boss, I guess?
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 9:07 PM
Only if something bad happens.
9:07 PM
After all, a leader should take responsibility for their subordinates, don't you think?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 9:07 PM
So if there's a complaint about me... say, a strange guy being hired to work around children... you'll probably hear about it?
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 9:08 PM
If there's anything valid, then yes. So long as you work well with the children, I won't know anything you don't want me to.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/6/2020 9:08 PM
I understand. Thank you, Haru.
9:09 PM
I'll be sure to do my best.
9:09 PM
I won't disappoint you.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/6/2020 9:09 PM
I'm looking forward to it!
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/12/2020 9:21 PM
How did your first day of training go?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/12/2020 9:22 PM
I think it went really well! The kids were all really sweet lol Which was kinda surprising-- normally at least ONE kid is a brat
9:22 PM
But I feel like, ya know... maybe I was a little... unwelcome? By my co-workers... They definitely kept an eye on me. I can't blame them though. I just need to prove myself.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/12/2020 9:24 PM
I think you'll do just fine. Children can usually tell if a person is awful or not.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/12/2020 9:26 PM
Yeah, that's true. I did pretty ok making them lunch while they slept, but I felt like my manager treated me like I was a little inept? But I guess it was my first day, and I'm not used to making like, 20 sandwiches quickly...
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/12/2020 9:28 PM
From what I know, children's moods can turn quickly when they're hungry. But it was your first day!
9:28 PM
It sounds like you've done rather well!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/12/2020 9:28 PM
Thanks, Haru... again, thanks for the opportunity. Hopefully I can work even better from now on.
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/12/2020 9:29 PM
It takes anyone a bit of time to get used to new routines, it sounds like you'll do well.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/12/2020 9:30 PM
Thanks, Haru. ❤️
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/12/2020 9:32 PM
(๑´v`๑❁)
9:32 PM
Certainly.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/12/2020 9:34 PM
I guess-- uh-- is it viable to assume that maybe I could at least move to it part time?
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/12/2020 9:35 PM
?(´・×・`❁)
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/12/2020 9:35 PM
The job, I mean... Like... Is it a once a week thing? Is it something I can... quit Junes over? Or...
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 9/12/2020 9:36 PM
Well, it sounds like you've done especially well! You should wait for an email with your schedule on it.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/12/2020 9:39 PM
... okay. I will, thank you.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/15/2020 10:14 PM
@King Ken Hey Katsu... You can message me here.
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Katsuragi BOT 9/15/2020 10:16 PM
Hey sorry. I got a little carried away. I really dont know much about the app or the chatroom. Didnt know there were any rules. I tried to break the app and there wasnt even a privacy policy. But you know how common these things are nowadays.
10:16 PM
Anyway how are you? It's been a while.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/15/2020 10:18 PM
I'm... Sorry for yelling so much, I'm just... It's been a long day, and... There's just some people in there that are... Let's say they aren't above harming people, so... It's best not to post too much any locations or names or anything, you know? Just trying to keep you safe, man. I'm Ok. It's been a long day lol but I'll get over it. It has been ages. So you're a viewtuber now?
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Katsuragi BOT 9/15/2020 10:20 PM
Arent you subscribed to me? I thought you were. Anyway where are you? Sorta felt some tension between you and Narukami. Are you guys having a lover's spat?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/15/2020 10:21 PM
Omg we're not together! I'm in Inaba visiting. I'm staying at a friend's house right now. I guess I am, but I don't really check my viewtube much... I mostly listen to music.
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Katsuragi BOT 9/15/2020 10:23 PM
Oh? You're back there? When are you coming back to Tokyo?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/15/2020 10:23 PM
Tomorrow morning
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Katsuragi BOT 9/15/2020 10:24 PM
Wanna meet up then? Oh dude, we could probably meet up at the station. Let me pick you up
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/15/2020 10:25 PM
Oh, sorry, Yu is already picking me up. But we can hang out after I get home, if I'm not busy? I'll keep you updated
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Katsuragi BOT 9/15/2020 10:31 PM
You sure? I'll be in the area!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/15/2020 10:32 PM
Well... some coffee would be nice... maybe after Yu gets me back to the apartment and I get my stuff inside, we can meet up?
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Katsuragi BOT 9/15/2020 11:15 PM
Sure thing :) that'd ve great. Btw, I've really missed u.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/15/2020 11:16 PM
heh... ive really missed you too dude thanks...
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:44 PM
@Kayla, male thot enemy of state Are you done?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:45 PM
OMG the last person I wanna hear from is you rn
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:45 PM
You started it, I'm coming here to finish it since you're being purposely obtuse.
9:45 PM
Just because someone is new and dumping info, you're just getting right in on that?
9:45 PM
What happened to playing it safe with users we can't identify?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:46 PM
I already know it's senpai! Remember how Yu can read names?
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:46 PM
The other users, Pancake.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:46 PM
Ugh, I know, I was an idiot again. I get it.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:47 PM
There are still ones we can't see. Senpai or not, you need to play it safe.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:47 PM
I have a lot on my mind and I fucked up, I get it.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:47 PM
Do you?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:47 PM
I don't know.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:47 PM
It doesn't sound like you do.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:47 PM
I figured comparing notes was ok because it's like "this is shit that anyone that already knows about that world would either know or just not fucking believe."
9:48 PM
But I know I dropped the ball mentioning the Nanjo corporation again (edited)
9:48 PM
I guess the real danger is "how to get a persona" which is something we don't want the common person to know, right?
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:49 PM
Yes. That's exactly it.
9:49 PM
More personas means more danger. They can be misused.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:49 PM
I know that!
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:49 PM
If you need to compare notes just do it in private.
9:49 PM
We know there are people without personas here.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:49 PM
But it's not like the average person is going to survive meeting their shadow. It'll most likely kill them.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:50 PM
So you want people to die?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:50 PM
... no. But I was hoping it would scare Nozomi-chan away from the prospect.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:50 PM
She doesn't seem scared. She seems more determined than before.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:50 PM
I know.
9:50 PM
I hate this so much
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:51 PM
The next time you get excited, put your phone down.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:51 PM
Alright... alright. Alright.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:51 PM
We have to try and mitigate this.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:52 PM
I'm not even sure if it's... such a bad idea. Because maybe Nozomi-chan needs to be able to protect herself when I'm not there? I don't know.
9:52 PM
But I also just remember all the shit I went through as a kid and how terrifying it all is and I don't want her to go through that either.
9:54 PM
Alright, I guess just being like a "chat mod" or something is best. I hate to yell at my senpai and superior but like... he's pretty chill so I guess it can't be helped.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 9:57 PM
Protect herself? And if she gets curious enough to look around by herself? Gets attacked by a shadow? Or worse, meets her own and dies?
9:57 PM
Is that what you want for Nozomi-chan?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 9:59 PM
Never. You're right. Everything is too unpredictable. We can't let her fly too close to the sun.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:01 PM
Yeah.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:02 PM
Sorry. I keep fucking up. I'm sorry to be part of the problem.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:02 PM
It's fine to be excited. Learn to step away before you say something you shouldn't.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:03 PM
It doesn't help that you're supposed to be younger than me...
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:09 PM
Am I supposed to be insulted?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:11 PM
No, it's more an insult to me. I'm supposed to have my shit together and I just... don't.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:14 PM
The more you whine about it, the worse you'll feel. It creates a loop.
10:14 PM
So stop whining.
10:15 PM
Age doesn't mean anything. Especially after what we've been through.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:15 PM
You're right...
10:16 PM
You're right.
10:16 PM
I can't just keep self pitying myself, it's not going to help.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:16 PM
It's not. We need to keep it together and figure this out.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:18 PM
I feel like... I feel like the moment we figure out everyone's true intentions is when it's gonna be too late. We should keep trying, though.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:19 PM
I don't know about you, but I move exactly when I need to to get something done.
10:19 PM
Moving sooner is a waste of time, energy and planning.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:22 PM
I guess we just need to watch out for any real sign that something needs to be done, then. It isn't so cut and dry like before.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:22 PM
Maybe not for you. My bouquet and I already have suspicions.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:23 PM
Which are?
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:25 PM
Nothing confirmed, so I'm not voicing anything before we're sure. Haru and I are keeping an eye out.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:25 PM
I guess I'm just gonna have to trust you two, then...
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:26 PM
Imagine trusting someone who tells you things without compromising innocent people.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:27 PM
I mean, senpai is my superior in the Operatives, even if he's not doing the best job of keeping his mouth shut, he's quite a bit older than both of us... So I do trust him. But you're right. You guys have given me no reason to distrust you two either.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:29 PM
We've been avoiding saying anything, unlike your senpai. Just because he has information, being older doesn't mean it's a good idea to share it when he has no idea about this place.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:30 PM
Well, duh. That's why I'm gonna at least try and tell him to shut up from now on, even if it feels highly disrespectful...
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:32 PM
He can grow up and suck it up instead of putting people at risk.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:34 PM
LMAO, you guys have a pretty different view on hierarchy but I get it... not everyone who's older is respectable. "Changing the hearts of corrupt adults" is still pretty apt, huh? Maybe you should change mine.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:35 PM
You're not a corrupt adult.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:38 PM
I dunno about that, but it's nice of you to say so either way. Yu's convinced that the app is a way to bring us together for something bigger. It's hard not to believe him...
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:40 PM
It could be, but there's still potential for people with bad intentions.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:41 PM
That's what I'm thinking... Sorry again for everything. I'll pull myself together from now on.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:43 PM
I'm here if you have a hard time. We can also meet up if you need it. The worst that can happen is that you know my general area.
10:44 PM
Which is information you already have, even though I've been basically telling the chat since day 1.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:45 PM
What, you're gonna act like I'm a nuisance to you and then offer me support???
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:46 PM
Pardon my French, but did I fucking stutter?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:46 PM
... I guess you didn't. Usually people that act like they dislike me normally... do.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:47 PM
🚮
10:47 PM
So don't interact with them if they don't like you. Simple.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:48 PM
I guess I'm bad at this, because I thought you hated me?
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:48 PM
Hating people is exhausting.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:49 PM
You're a weird one, but... I guess I appreciate your honesty nonetheless. Thanks for the offer, either way.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:52 PM
Yeah.
10:52 PM
Private chats are open.
10:52 PM
I emoji too much for people to want to use them.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/27/2020 10:53 PM
LMAO. Understandable. Have a good night, Akira.
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corvidknight 9/27/2020 10:53 PM
👋
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/15/2020 5:03 PM
(( Trigger Warnings ; Hallucinations/horror elements (Yosuke's shadow specifically), pain description, wound description/blood mention, mention of homophobic parents, self hate and what could be considered suicidal ideation. Story can still be read and understood without clicking any of the spoilers.)) Yosuke's head hurt. That was a common occurrence whenever he woke up. A vibrating pain that went from his temples, down the back of his neck, and to his spine. He stares blankly at the back of Yu's head in the early eaves of the morning, waiting for the pain to will away, but he was no less exhausted. Even when the pain disappears, he closes his eyes and focuses on Taiyou's snoring and his partner's deep breathing, just reveling in the fact that he wasn't alone. There was no point in going back to sleep. Whatever these dreams were, painful and chaotic, they seemed to worsen his pain the longer he slept. Yosuke decided four hours was enough rest and crawled out of his best friend's warm bed in total darkness. He tip toes his way to the bathroom, his usual morning escape, and closes the door behind him. He places his hands on the sink and leans his entire weight onto them, letting out a long sigh and pressing his forehead to the cold glass of the mirror. Pulling back slightly, he looks at himself-- face blank of emotion, but eyes bruised with exhaustion.
5:03 PM
Yosuke's spine turns cold and stiffens as he notices the usual dark figure in the corner of his eye, a silhouette of a person with glowing golden eyes. It stood behind him, deathly quiet, but leaving a chill in the air. He wasn't stupid-- he knew what it probably was, but knew it was also probably just a weird side effect of these pervasive dreams. Naru had said they were hallucinating, right? Dark figures and warps in the air... This must be Yosuke's hallucination, a physical manifestation of what he could only assume was his shadow, ever present and watching his every move like it was no longer a part of him. Not that he could mention it, though-- Naru was having it rough enough, no need to dump on them Yosuke's personal hallucination, let alone something the other probably wouldn't fully understand. It permeates the air, making the bathroom cold, Yosuke's exposed arms and legs sprouting goosebumps. He insists on not looking at it, instead going through the rounds of shaving and brushing his teeth like nothing was wrong. He had gotten good at ignoring problems, he thinks. Yosuke knew that was bullshit, though. His mind wanders whenever he wasn't busying himself, thinking back to the various issues in his life. Perhaps endangering himself or his friends, sure, but even more in the forefront was the issue with his parents. He didn't want to think about it, of course not, but that didn't stop the memories of their blowup from creeping back into his mind.
5:04 PM
Just rip the bandaid off and stop worrying about what the wound underneath looks like, Akira had told him, so he did, but Yosuke didn't expect the wound to be deep and bleeding profusely without end. When Teddie said he had visited their parents recently, what had Mom and Dad said? Did they tell him that Yosuke was no longer a welcome edition to the family? Did they bypass talking about him completely? Teddie probably talked about him a lot, so did they pretend nothing was wrong? He felt sick, his eyes turning hot, and he finds himself having to grip the sink again. Painfully clenching his jaw, Yosuke resisted making an ounce of noise, but his shoulders and back still jerked and tears still stained his cheeks. Shit, knock it off, he tells himself, trying not to fall into that self-piteous behavior he always tended to. It was easy to hate himself and tell himself he was an unlovable idiot, but he had to tell himself to stay strong and keep going. As much as he wanted to disappear completely, to run away from every problem he faced, he knew that wasn't an option. He had too many people relying on him, as heavy a weight as that was on his shoulders.
5:04 PM
He turns on the cold water and forces his face into his wet palms, trying to mitigate the blotchiness of his face and the burning of his eyes. He eventually stops himself from crying, letting out a long breath through his mouth, and holds his eyes in the cool water of his hands for a long, aching moment. Coming back up for air, he sees the shadow staring at him again, right behind him in the mirror. However, he didn't feel scrutinized-- no, this piece of him just wanted to come home, and Yosuke wouldn't let it, lest he admit he couldn't handle what was being thrown at him. Yosuke stared at his own face for a few minutes, quietly evening his breathing, before deeming himself ready to face the day.
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/3/2020 4:30 PM
Yosuke-kun. Is everything alright?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 4:31 PM
Yeah, everything's ok! I guess I'm just... Latching onto the RP idea thing to... Help keep secrets better
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/3/2020 4:32 PM
I. Guess that might help?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 4:34 PM
I dunno... Everything keeps getting thrown into the open whether it's my fault or not Not that I'm being hard on myself! Just trying to improve
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/3/2020 4:35 PM
.. how're your nightmares lately?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 4:36 PM
They're... Creeping back up. Seems like the second I talk about them being ok they try and get bad again
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/3/2020 4:37 PM
Ah. Yeah. That's.. not good.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 4:38 PM
But I'm ok! Don't worry about me What about you?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/3/2020 4:38 PM
They've been getting worse.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 4:40 PM
What's going on...?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/3/2020 4:42 PM
I ... don't know how to describe it.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 4:42 PM
Is it more painful, or...?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/3/2020 4:44 PM
Yeah?? Yeah.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 4:44 PM
It sounds like it's hard to pin point
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/3/2020 4:45 PM
The whole experience also feels a lot more ... intrusive.
4:45 PM
I. Dunno why
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 4:46 PM
Like it's getting deeper? We may have to talk to Senpai about this...
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/3/2020 4:57 PM
Huh?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 4:57 PM
Nao, I mean
4:57 PM
He knows a lot more about this stuff
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/3/2020 4:58 PM
I guess. Yeah.
5:00 PM
I'm.. really just. Starting to worry about me.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 5:01 PM
I know... I'm worried about you too.
5:01 PM
If only you could work remotely or something-- a way to keep you safe
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/3/2020 5:02 PM
Huh?? How would staying at home alone keep me safe??
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 5:07 PM
I think maybe if you're home you're less likely to... Be in danger, I guess
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 1:38 AM
. Somebody from my workplace is missing.
1:38 AM
...I.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 1:41 AM
Huh? For how long?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 1:42 AM
I don't know???
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 1:42 AM
When was the last time you saw them?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 1:42 AM
Like A few days ago.
1:42 AM
We've been told to keep an eye out for them in case they show up but oh god.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 1:43 AM
Has your boss done a wellness check? What about their family...?
1:43 AM
It's gonna be ok Watanabe, try and stay calm (edited)
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 1:46 AM
I.
1:46 AM
It's so sudden..
1:46 AM
They were fine beforehand??
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 1:48 AM
They could have just decided to quit and leave their life behind? I mean, a lot of people think about doing that, they could just need some alone time
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 1:49 AM
No. They are. Missing. For sure.
1:50 AM
They're like ... I swear the only person who enjoys coming in every day
1:52 AM
Ugh this is a mess My head is pounding...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 1:54 AM
What do you think happened...?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 1:54 AM
...and there are reporters.
1:54 AM
Great.
1:54 AM
Fantastic.
1:55 AM
Whoever told the news??? why. 😭
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 1:55 AM
Don't worry about them. They're just trying to get a story, but if anything, it'll help spread awareness of your coworker
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 1:55 AM
I hope so.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 1:57 AM
Just take a deep breath and hope for the best. Putting negative thoughts into the universe makes it more likely for bad things to happen... Or so I've heard So keep believing that your coworker will be safe
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 1:59 AM
Okay??? Okay.
1:59 AM
I'll. Stay calm.
2:04 AM
I just. I don't know what's happening.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 2:06 AM
That's fine. But let's leave the panicking for when something seriously happens to them, ok? We'll cross that bridge when we get there
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 2:07 AM
I guess????? Okay
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 2:08 AM
Just try and stay positive and keep them in your thoughts, yeah? I know it's hard, and it's easy to be swept up by the what ifs But nothing has been proven or confirmed yet
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 2:10 AM
Alright.
2:10 AM
I'll. Try.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 2:10 AM
Let me know if anything changes, ok?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 2:12 AM
The news is going to make this situation so much worse. 😅 I'm sure you'll know if something happens.
2:12 AM
... I wish the reporters would just leave me alone.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 2:12 AM
I wish they would too... Is there a back door you can take out of the building?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 2:13 AM
I shouldn't leave yet.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 2:19 AM
If you can wait it out, it might help... Just make sure you get something to eat
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 2:23 AM
... I had my worst dream yet last night too. I just.
2:23 AM
It's...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 2:23 AM
Again, we don't know anything for sure. Let's try not to panic until we have info, ok?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 2:26 AM
I can’t help it??
2:32 AM
It's like this whole situation is just...
2:32 AM
A thing to make people afraid on purpose....
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 2:33 AM
What do you mean...?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 2:34 AM
I don't know?? Like . This whole thing is fear mongering.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 2:34 AM
You think someone targeted your coworker...?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 2:35 AM
I think so??? I don't know I'm just. ..
2:35 AM
I don't know.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 2:35 AM
I know you want answers, but try not to stress yourself out thinking about it too much, either...
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 2:37 AM
I've been having these night terrors and hallucinations for months.
2:38 AM
And now something like this happens. I just. It has
2:38 AM
To be connected some how
2:38 AM
I'm probably overthinking
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 2:38 AM
You think they're related? Do you know something you're not telling me...?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 11/4/2020 2:38 AM
No. I don't I just have this awful gut feeling and I don't like it.
2:39 AM
My life was so normal before this.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/4/2020 2:39 AM
It might be your own fears... But either way, all we can do is hope they come out of this ok... I know... I'm sorry. I don't want you to get washed up in this
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Hiii Yosuke-nii
7:16 PM
Let me know if you have a moment there may be trouble and I may have made a mistake
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:16 PM
whatd you do this time?
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Ahaha.
7:17 PM
Remember how I mentioned that I asked Iris about personas under the disguise of the whole roleplay thing?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:17 PM
yeah...?
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He, asked some more about it! And I just told him about it as if it where a franchise!!! You know!!
7:18 PM
But then
7:18 PM
uhm
7:18 PM
the, Tatsuya person? As in Tats Tatsuya not Mochis brother Tatsuya I still havent met him
7:20 PM
He mentioned that if Iris learns too much about things it could unlock deep hidden memories that were once sealed away for deity related things and if people start remembering those the world will be set back to a time where 'the world will be doomed'
7:20 PM
And I'm the only other person who knows that on the chat! And you too now I guess
7:20 PM
and i dont know what to make of it and im very scared i accidentally already said too much.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:21 PM
Oh jeez...
7:21 PM
God this is such a mess, now we have someone that could potentially end the WORLD?
7:22 PM
It's not your fault-- I guess the guise of a RP is better than nothing, but... does he believe you about it?
7:22 PM
Cause it looks like he's hella suspicious
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Well that's the problem! He's looking into it and he's very suspicious and I don't know what to do about it
7:23 PM
I didn't know it could end the world maybe!...
7:24 PM
And I barely know the exact things Tats Tasuya was talking about either... Just what he summarised
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:26 PM
It's ok Ted, I had no idea either I guess we just need to keep up the idea that it's some RP. If we all believe it, then he can't really question it, right...? What kinda RP does he think it is, anyway? Tabletop? Just some made up stuff we came up with?
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Okay...
7:28 PM
Uhh, hang on, let me find what I did exactly say...
7:28 PM
I just! Called it a franchise with multiple stories
7:29 PM
So I don't think I ever specified if it was games or books or... whatever
7:29 PM
Just that it has multiple stories! And all with their own mini story and people just with similiar overarching concepts and themes and stuff
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:29 PM
Maybe And this might take me a while I could write a rule book for it? Jeez I haven't written anything since essays but if it will help
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Oh!! Maybe that would help..
7:30 PM
We'd have to get a way for everyone know does know about personas to work with the excuse though...
7:30 PM
and uhm
7:31 PM
Sorry for, thrusting this on you too now...
7:31 PM
Ahh, I'm never explaining anything to anyone again, hnng....
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:33 PM
You're fine Ted... I mean, it sounds like something I would do. It's just being caught up in the lie lol
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ʕ ´ `ʔ♡
7:34 PM
Thank you! for not being mad
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:36 PM
Honestly, all of this is screwy and I'd be really hypocritical if I did lol
7:37 PM
We don't know anything about these people so...
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Mm... Well! Thank you still
7:38 PM
And I guess that's true
7:39 PM
Tats Tatsuya apparently is at least indirectly linked to the Shadow Operatives though, so that at least means he's kind of trustworthy! Right? We don't have to doubt him too?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:40 PM
I met him in person and he seems ok... but if the Ops can verify him, that's even better
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Mm! I think he said his brother and one other person are with them?
7:41 PM
And that they also apparently knew about the 'second incident'
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:42 PM
incident...?
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Which I think came after the memory erasing one.
7:43 PM
Uhm! He said there was a first incident with a deity, things went badly!! And then everyone forgot about it (but not him!(?)) and the event was erased from time!! Along with another (?)
7:43 PM
But if people remmeber it!
7:43 PM
Then we'll go back to that time and we're all doomed.
7:43 PM
But then after that all apparently the deity came back?
7:43 PM
But they beat him again.
7:43 PM
And that was the second incident
7:43 PM
Which did not have the memory erasing thing I think.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:44 PM
I wonder if, since the deity is dead... if reversing back to that time would bring him back or not
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Well!! Tats Tatsuya mentioned that deity is kinda like all the other deities in that like
7:45 PM
Can't really truly be killed and is always doomed to come back eventually but due to being beaten is currently out of commission for an unspecified amount of time.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:46 PM
So we... might have to defeat it again And if there's more of us now, we could probably do it... But still
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Maybe... That's kind of an issue with all deities, I guess
7:47 PM
Or... shadow things in general
7:48 PM
As long as humans exist, they do! And, the other way around too.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:48 PM
Exactly...
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Augh... As long as they only show up one at a time, I guess it'll be okay...
7:49 PM
I kind of liked the time we had with none of them trying to do things though.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:50 PM
That's true, the last few years have been... peaceful? For us, anyway
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Mm! It was nice
7:52 PM
Not having to worry about the TV world was pretty relaxing too! ... and pretty odd! But mostly relaxing.
7:52 PM
But now we're here. With a magic mystery app and world ending things. Nn..
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:53 PM
We'll be ok. We've dealt with it before, we can deal with it again, yeah?
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That's true!
7:53 PM
That reminds me though...
7:54 PM
Back with the Midnight Stage? You know the dance dance revolution shadows
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 7:54 PM
Uh, yeah...?
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Well, it wasn't an app I guess but Phones did play a role in that, right? And computers I guess. Unless I'm remembering wrong! Just as long as the weird video was playing! It connected to other worldly stuff! So maybe this is more like that? Even if the only thing connecting them is the devices...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:00 PM
Oh yeah... but that was manipulated by a big shadow too, just like the TVs... So does that mean the app is... being manipulated by a big shadow? I guess that makes sense. Everyone seems... connected, in a way? Like, that new guy Goro was talking to, well... Goro seemed to know him. And Iris is connected to personas too... I dunno how Naru connects to all this, but everyone else seems to be connected by personas or a persona user.
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??? Another new person?? So many people...
8:01 PM
Hmm, well
8:02 PM
if the nightmare stuff is related to deity things
8:02 PM
Maybe that's why he's here?...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:05 PM
But he didn't have them before the app was installed... I think? I'd have to ask him...
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....Hm! Odd
8:05 PM
But! Iris doesn't remember being connected to any persona stuff himself either
8:05 PM
Maybe it's like that?
8:06 PM
We only know Iris is connected because someone else who knows him just happened to be here
8:06 PM
Maybe the someone else for Narus case just isn't here?...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:08 PM
Oh, maybe... that's a good point Naru could know someone, but not be familiar... It does make me wonder, tho... p much everyone who can see names can't see Mochi's or Naru's
8:08 PM
But Mochi knows someone in the chat, and they saw his name...? Maybe... Naru is waiting for that person
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I do wonder why their names aren't visible...
8:09 PM
Did we ever ask them about it directly?
8:10 PM
I don't really know Naru but I could ask Mochi!!! .....I guess I don't know Mochi that well either but
8:10 PM
You know!
8:10 PM
I could.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:11 PM
I asked Naru once, and he says he has no idea... but if you wanna ask Mochi, go for it!
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Hmm... Okay!
8:11 PM
Well! It's worth a shot then.
8:12 PM
Oh I forgot if I asked before but did we know if Mochi or his brother know about personas at all?
8:12 PM
So much to keep track of.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:12 PM
If they do, they haven't dropped a single hint about it. Mochi talks about his brother, cooking and his cat, and his brother seems to just be along for the ride...
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Okay!! Hmm!! I see!!
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Mochi says he does not know! But apparently he and Naru can see eachothers names!!
8:25 PM
Oh and he can see his brothers but I guess that makes sense
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:27 PM
Huh? That's weird, Naru told me he couldn't see anyone else's... But maybe they're keeping it a secret and Mochi just has a big mouth lol
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Ehh! That'd be odd...
8:30 PM
Why'd Naru keep that a secret?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:30 PM
Maybe he didn't want us lumping him in with Mochi? They might know each other or... something It could be for a number of reasons
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Hm...
8:34 PM
Maybe he's related to the app in the same way Mochi is then!
8:34 PM
Right?
8:35 PM
Maybe Mochi- or whoever Mochi knows- is his someone else!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:36 PM
Maybe... But it's still weird that certain people can see everyone's name cept those two, cause like... Yu didn't know Goro or anyone, right? But he saw his real name I dunno... Maybe it's not something to worry about
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Yeah... It's all confusing!! Augh!!!
8:37 PM
And if someone really is controlling the app and watching...
8:38 PM
Maybe they're just trying to cause trouble too by doing weird things like this!!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:39 PM
That's true Could be some... trickster deity, like that Nordic guy from the superhero movies
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I don't know Nordish superheroes, Yosuke-nii!!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:43 PM
I goggled it, his name's Loki
8:43 PM
He's an actual Nordic god but he was in those popular superhero movies too
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Oh!! Huh! So maybe Loki is after us!!! I see...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:45 PM
Maybe. There's all kinds of "trickster" gods. P sure there's Japanese ones too But gods we've faced all do have one thing in common: They're named after an actual god. Probably because of the like Human consciousness or whatever
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Mhm~ Awh, that doesnt really narrow down the suspect list though...
8:46 PM
Too many gods.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/5/2020 8:47 PM
Exactly... we may just have to cross this bridge when we get there But I think... the idea of a "god" or whatever makes a lot of sense Thanks for the input, Ted (edited)
8:47 PM
You've always been good at this stuff lol
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Hehe~ Teddie at your service!!
8:49 PM
Knowing things about shadow things is my specialty! ...Or at least thinking about them.
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@Kayla, male thot enemy of state um your brother 'borrowed' a shadow from nanjos lab
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Its... it seems to be going okay but if you could check on the two of them thatd be good.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/7/2020 6:46 PM
WHAT
6:47 PM
I'm heading to his place RIGHT NOW
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Thank you 🙏 try not to be too hard on them i just wanna make sure things are okay. Id of checked myself but he refuses to tell me where they are.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/7/2020 7:19 PM
Jesus If he puts himself in danger ISTG (edited)
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Also uhm
6:15 PM
Going off, how things worked for me? A lot of how I kind of, worked, was based directly on what I learned So that's why I'm trying to treat them like a real baby for now! And showing them stuff about other babies! Maybe it would lead them to eventually actually taking on a form like that/working like that...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/12/2020 6:16 PM
oh, yeah... we didnt do great teaching you stuff, but we were also a bunch of dumb kids
6:16 PM
but it would be helpful if they started to LOOK like a baby
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Ehe~ Exactly.
6:17 PM
If I can get them to have a normal childhood and grow up normally!
6:17 PM
That'd be ideal...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/12/2020 6:23 PM
i guess i didnt think of that but it could also develop pretty quick. i mean, you did but... did it come from a human child? what kinda kid develops a shadow that young...?
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I don't know... To be fair, I wasn't always... as human myself, either. So maybe they're just struggling with it all and that's why?...
6:24 PM
I mean, I made my body to match with you all... I don't know if my age would have been different otherwise
6:24 PM
but
6:25 PM
I do
6:25 PM
i mean
6:25 PM
having ! an actual, time as a child Still seems like it would have been nice
6:25 PM
Getting that actual time to learn, I guess
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/12/2020 6:25 PM
thats true, you were kinda forced to be a teen...
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So if I can give them the time to grow at their own pace ...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/12/2020 6:25 PM
makes me feel bad in retrospect...
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Oh, I don't want to seem like I'm complaining!! I mean, I'm lucky at all to be here ahaʕ ´∀`;ʔ
6:26 PM
Sorry.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/12/2020 6:26 PM
im glad you think so lol but still, you did deserve a childhood free of responsibility
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Mm... Well, none of you really deserved the fate of the town - or more- on your shoulders at age teenager either.
6:27 PM
So I guess! We can share that one.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/12/2020 6:28 PM
thats fair, but before that, i got to be a dumb kid lol
6:28 PM
and even if it wasnt 100% great, at least i had that
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I guess...
6:29 PM
No use dwelling on what could have been though, right?..
6:29 PM
I just want to do my best for them.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/12/2020 6:31 PM
yeah just... be sure to be there for them, dont leave them alone for long hours to do whatever try not to show hate towards others in front of them and... accept them for who they are, no matter what
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Mm! That's the plan...
6:32 PM
I haven't left them alone at all yet ʕ´`;ʔ I'm a little worried to how they'll take it...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/12/2020 6:33 PM
uh... if you plan on treating then like a human child, dont leave them alone at all??? plus what if they figure out their magic while youre out??? they could be a fire aligned shadow
6:34 PM
you might have to bring it to work... or leave it with senpai, even if you dont want to
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Yosuke-nii I mean leaving them alone with someone else I'm not leaving them alone alone. Ugh yeah... I need to figure out something for work... I can't just expect them to sit quietly in my bag for a couple of hours
6:35 PM
It was hard enough getting them to sit still long enough to get them home
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/12/2020 6:35 PM
i think as long as theyre a persona user and can sedate them, should be fine
6:36 PM
or... someone that knows something about kids
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....Yeah.
6:36 PM
I just. Don't want them to get hurt
6:37 PM
Plus they apparently never talked before I got there so I just hope they wouldn't be scared if I left them again even if it is with someone else to take care of them in the meantime.
6:37 PM
Ahh! It's just a lot to worry about.
6:38 PM
They've been very clingy so far, ehe They're following me everywhere and they keep mimicking me a lot too!... They're just drumming on the floor with their spoon now sitting against me ʕ ´∀`ʔ♡
6:38 PM
Don't ask me why I'm sitting on the floor.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/12/2020 6:40 PM
naw, being a parent is like... 80% sitting on the floor lol but hmm... i guess they felt they could trust you. theyd have to learn to trust their caretaker too
6:41 PM
i think having someone come to the apartment would be good? so that theyre in a familiar place and wont try and escape
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Mm! That's a good point.
6:42 PM
A parent...
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[It's a picture of a small child sitting on a swing set! They seem to be waving at the camera. Their eyes are a striking yellow...]
10:27 AM
ʕ‘▽^人ʔ
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2020 10:35 AM
Holy shit!? When did this happen!?
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Hee hee!! Uhm! A couple days ago! They couldn't hold it for too long, though. Now they can at least safely keep it up for like! An hour or two, three. They're currently fast asleep next to me and more blobby again.... But they were really happy to go out!
10:37 AM
They're getting a bit better at it every time they try I think!!!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2020 10:38 AM
I mean... Still pretty dangerous to take them out of the house, but... Damn, this is pretty helpful, isn't it? If only they could hold this all the time
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They really wanted to go, though... ʕ´`ʔ And I was kind of the one who told them that the one reason they couldn't go was because they'd stick out too much Yeah!!! Well! They're managing to keep it longer and got a lot better in a pretty short amount of time so!! hopefully soon.. For now they tend to alternate between either sleeping or trying to keep form... Seems like they prefer it over being a blob.
10:41 AM
So they are sleeping a bit more then before but! I think that's alright, as long as they're healthy
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2020 10:54 AM
I guess if they have something to look forward to, they'll work harder at keeping that form... So they can start living like a kid.
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Mhm mhm!! That was my original idea too!
10:55 AM
...Putting it like that makes it sound like I tricked them into it ʕ´`ʔ But it's not like they could have gone outside otherwise...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2020 10:58 AM
No, I get it-- you're right, this is an opportunity for them to go out!
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Right! Right.
10:59 AM
They can actually meet people like this...
10:59 AM
...Oh, that reminds me!
10:59 AM
uh
10:59 AM
Did you tell anyone about them?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2020 11:01 AM
Nope. There's no one to really tell besides Yu.
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Mm... So Sensei doesn't know yet either?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2020 11:06 AM
He's been mad busy with work Last thing he needs is to worry about you having a shadow in your house Not that they're dangerous... But you know how he is
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I do! That's why I wanted to know ʕ´`;ʔ
11:06 AM
I hope he'll be okay!
11:07 AM
And, thank you for keeping them a secret for now I don't want them to feel like a secret and I know I'm gonna have to explain things at some point but! Rather wait a bit till they hopefully have their form under control and
11:07 AM
until I know how to . explain having a child suddenly.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2020 11:11 AM
Yeah, I gotcha. Yu would support you 100%, so you don't gotta worry about him But yeah, take your time. Explain things when you feel ready
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Mm! Thank you... I hope so!
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Yosuke-nii, are you with Sensei?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 5:48 PM
I am now. He's asleep though. What's up? (edited)
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Okay... Just making sure! I know
5:49 PM
or well
5:49 PM
I get that this is a lot to deal with I just didn't want you to be alone for now
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 5:51 PM
... I'm fine. My head just hurts. I was bad earlier, but work helped.
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I've been calling with everyone in Inaba all day already! They were all a little mad I went MIA on them for a bit but! The good news is that the TV world seems to be unaffected and so hopefully unrelated! Which ! I mean considering the physical injuries and location should already be obvious but Maybe the others already informed you two as well, sorry if so! Just. don't worry about that end of things for now. We're all doing our best to cover our bases!
5:52 PM
Mm...
5:52 PM
Take painkillers if you can? And take it easy if you can... I get that that, isn't easy with the way things happened though
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 5:54 PM
Thank you, Ted. I appreciate you looking into it. Being far from Inaba makes all of this hard right now, and I can't go back anytime soon. Yeah, I did. I'm gonna lay down and read a book for a bit. Just need to stop thinking for a while. Sorry to freak out in the chat... I need to learn to walk away lol
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Yeah... I wish I could go myself to check things out but I can't really go with Hikaru for now... Everyone was available to talk and keep me updated , at least
5:55 PM
It's okay!! I get that this sucks! Especially when...
5:55 PM
well
5:55 PM
you know
5:56 PM
There's some stuff I need to talk about you to later, but please get some rest first, okay? ʕ ´`ʔ♡
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 5:57 PM
Hikaru...? Well.. Actually, now is probably best. I'll just spend all this time wondering and stressing myself out about it. What's up?
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Oh!! DId I not tell you before? It's the little ones name! At least for now! If they ever decide they prefer another one that'll be up to them
5:58 PM
Are you sure?... I don't have a lot of details yet, so ...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 5:59 PM
I see, that's a pretty cute name, heh. But yeah, tell me what's up. I'm ready.
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Ah!! You think?? Ehe♡
5:59 PM
Mm.. Okay
6:00 PM
It's just what Naoya-san told me
6:00 PM
uhm
6:00 PM
Okay so
6:00 PM
From what I've been told! Which is not a lot!
6:00 PM
the app? You know the mystery app we all have now
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:01 PM
Yeah...?
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transported him to a shadow world just for a second before it send him back out again, with an automated message about returning to the real world to boot
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:02 PM
What
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He said he didn't have time to look around in it much, though... But uh
6:02 PM
well. Yeah.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:03 PM
The app can do that? I mean, we knew it was connected, but...
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He says it has some sort of GPS on the app now except it's not working right
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:03 PM
This is so dangerous.
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Yeah...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:03 PM
Wait, how do you access the GPS
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I don't know.
6:03 PM
I don't know if we even can or if him going there triggered it opening up
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:03 PM
I hope some of the non Persona users don't get pulled in
6:03 PM
On that note
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:03 PM
Hmm?
6:07 PM
Well! I am currently taking care of a toddler I can't really afford to not think about the consequences of suddenly potentially dissappearing I know it spit Naoya-san back out immediately, but who knows if it'll keep doing that I need someone to take care of Karu-chan if something happens to me, Yosuke-nii I'm gonna see if I can teach them to use a phone if something ever happens to me. Can I teach them to call you? You're... the only one I trust with them that knows about them for now.
6:08 PM
Gonna see if there's a smarter way to do that, maybe just some sort of panic button they have to press to immediately call but the point stays the same! They need someone to contact
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:08 PM
Oh-- yeah, that's fine. If they can take a human form, I can just bring them to work with me, so caring for them wouldn't be a problem.
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Mm!! Okay, thank you
6:09 PM
They've been pretty good at holding their form now actually!
6:09 PM
Only at night for long sleep time do they still kind of lose it at times, or when they get uh
6:09 PM
really. really stressed.
6:09 PM
but that has only happened once so far and for very specific reasons so!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:10 PM
Uh... Do I need to know the reason...?
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...Do you think they could go to the daycare with you some days maybe?... It'd be good for them to make some friends! And it'd be good for me to, return to work It wouldn't be for long!!! Just until work is done for the day!! And like I said they really truly haven't been any trouble so!!!
6:11 PM
...oh uh
6:11 PM
Uhm
6:11 PM
Maybe
6:11 PM
?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:13 PM
That's fine, but seriously... I need to know their stressors. They CANNOT be turning back into a blob in front of the other kids.
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No!! No no no it's nothing like that
6:13 PM
it's just a little uncomfortable to talk about but that's on me
6:13 PM
You know how I don't like the moon, right?...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:14 PM
Oh-- they don't like the moon either?
6:14 PM
Is that cause you're both...?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:14 PM
Sorry, I wouldn't have sent that
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It's apparently a thing for all shadows.
6:14 PM
It's okay! It's probably better for you to know anyhow.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:14 PM
I get it. No moon time. Got it. 👍
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Full moon and the days directly before and after with them was rough, but besides that they've been good! So you shouldn't even notice it, especially during the day
6:15 PM
ʕ ´`ʔ♡Thank you.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:16 PM
Weird... I mean, I wonder why, but... I guess if it's not gonna be a problem, I won't question it.
6:16 PM
If only you could find out more about it...
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.....Ah....
6:18 PM
I, remembered a little. After, learning about how it affects shadows from Naoya-san it's not super pleasant to think about though
6:18 PM
I actually kind of have to strain to even think about it, aha! I don't think my mind really appreciates me doing that!!
6:18 PM
mm
6:19 PM
Ugh, I'm sorry, not informing people of this is just being selfish when it could be important
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:20 PM
Huh? Well, I mean... You're allowed to keep your secrets, but you know you can tell me anything Ted. Is it going to put anyone in danger?
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I don't know.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:20 PM
That's not a great answer
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I mean! it hasn't done anything in years now. So I don't think it should I just I don't like what I do know
6:22 PM
To put it as simple as possible The moon isn't the moon. Or it isn't just the moon, at least it's a deity of sorts and it's where all shadows came from She came to be when thought came to be, including in just animals
6:22 PM
shes not.... active, currently
6:22 PM
She shouldn't be. At least.
6:22 PM
but I
6:24 PM
mm. I've asked Naoya-san to keep a shadow containment cell open. ʕ ´∀`ʔ So don't worry! If I ever worry in the days leading up to the full moon it won't go well I'll be able to sit it out there in the worst case scenario!
6:24 PM
but it's been fine for years now. so it should be fine now
6:24 PM
even if it was obviously not super pleasant Karu-chan made it trough just fine too!! So it should be fine
6:24 PM
im
6:24 PM
sorry
6:24 PM
i shouldve told you earlier.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:24 PM
This is... A lot. Uh
6:25 PM
How'd you find all this out
6:25 PM
Not that I don't believe you At this point I'd be stupid not to
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Memories. it kind of came back after naoya-san told me all shadows dont like the moon and i started thinking and thinking about it i don't really know what else I know and even this feels like Im repeating far off information
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:27 PM
I see... That's crazy I'm sorry you have to go through this. It must be a lot
6:27 PM
If you need to, you're free to come over here
6:27 PM
You don't have to deal with this alone
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...I don't think Teddie wants to think about it, to protect the person he is so id be lying if i said i really processed any of it. if im not actively thinking about it I can barely seem to remember it at all
6:27 PM
Mm... Im sorry, thank you
6:28 PM
Yosuke-nii?ʕ ´`ʔ
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:30 PM
Teddie is Teddie. You are defined by who you are and what you do, not WHAT you are. ... I'm learning that myself, lately, as hard as it is. So you have to learn it too lol (edited)
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Thank you..
6:31 PM
Right! You're right
6:31 PM
Thank you for never being scared of me
6:31 PM
and
6:32 PM
thank you for giving Karu-chan a chance, too.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:32 PM
Of course. I mean, you were a little funky at first, but who could be scared of the squeaky shoes? ;)
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Paws! I did not wear any shoes, I'll have you know!!
6:33 PM
Hehe~
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:33 PM
Omg they were just
6:33 PM
Omg
6:33 PM
You're so weird
6:33 PM
Hey Ted
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ʕ – ヘ – ʔ
6:33 PM
Yeees?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:33 PM
.
6:34 PM
I dunno
6:34 PM
I feel like you shared a big thing with me and if I don't share a big thing back I'm a hypocrite (edited)
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...? Only do what you feel comfortable with, Yosuke-nii
6:35 PM
I'd never want to push you!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:35 PM
But can you even keep a secret is the question :T
6:35 PM
Like
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ʕ – – ʔ
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:35 PM
The biggest secret
6:35 PM
You can't even tell your blob child
6:35 PM
Or Yu
6:35 PM
Or say it out loud
6:36 PM
Or think about it
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I've been keeping an entire child secret from everyone I've ever known minus you. Or just, my entire life from everyone I've ever known minus you and the rest of our group. I've been keeping most information about myself a secret to even myself! I know how to keep a secret!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:37 PM
Ok ok
6:37 PM
Just making sure
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Also don't call them a blob child they worked very hard ʕっ◞‸◟cʔ
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:37 PM
Alright, sorry I'll call Hikaru by their name
6:37 PM
Anyway
6:37 PM
Did
6:37 PM
Mom and Dad say anything about me last time you saw them?
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About you?... I don't think so? I'm usually asking more about them and Inaba ʕ´`;ʔ They know I don't live with you!
6:39 PM
Why?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:40 PM
Well
6:40 PM
Uh
6:40 PM
Ted
6:40 PM
Do you know what
6:40 PM
Do you know what
6:40 PM
.
6:40 PM
You know what I can't
6:40 PM
Actually no
6:40 PM
Mom and Dad know
6:40 PM
They'll tell you if I don't
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Yosuke-nii?... If somethings wrong, you don't have to-
6:40 PM
uh?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:41 PM
And I'd much rather you find out from me
6:41 PM
Ugh
6:41 PM
Ted
6:41 PM
Do you know what gay is?
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...Yes?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:41 PM
I'm
6:41 PM
That
6:41 PM
I mean
6:41 PM
No
6:42 PM
I'm bi
6:42 PM
But
6:42 PM
Maybe?
6:42 PM
No
6:42 PM
I don't have it figured out
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!! Oh!!!
6:42 PM
I'm a pan!! I think!! From what I looked up once!! ʕ ´∀`ʔ
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:42 PM
I'm something
6:42 PM
Oh...
6:43 PM
LOL
6:43 PM
Ofc you are
6:43 PM
Why was I even worried omg
6:43 PM
You are a girl somedays
6:43 PM
I'm an idiot
6:43 PM
It's okay!
6:43 PM
...not everyone's always nice about it, are they?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:43 PM
Mom and Dad...
6:44 PM
They're two of the people that weren't nice about it
6:44 PM
I didn't wanna tell you, because I know you're not... Ya know But because I'm related to them by blood, I'm held to a different standard
6:45 PM
They're mostly upset they won't get grandkids or a daughter in law or... Have a normal son or whatever (edited)
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....Mm.... I'm sorry. Thats.... not fair at all
6:46 PM
and it
6:46 PM
probably should feel more surprising then it is, huh? im sorry.... Im sorry I didn't notice before
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:46 PM
Huh? No, it's ok
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I guess they already have grandkids now! Though I doubt this'll be the way they wanted...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:46 PM
Lol, it's fine. They'll get over it
6:47 PM
I know them pretty well, and they'll get over it.
6:47 PM
It stings initially, but once they realize I'm serious about it they'll move on (edited)
6:47 PM
And I think you should tell them about Hikaru
6:48 PM
They might be a little suspicious at first, but they'll warm up to them eventually
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right...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:48 PM
And eventually, love them
6:49 PM
Mom and Dad are just old fashioned and hate change, but they'll get over it
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im sorry! I dont really know what to say at all i just dont want them to be mad at Karu-chan, and i dont want you to be hurt either
6:49 PM
yeah...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:50 PM
No, it's ok! It's ok, Ted. I... I probably shouldn't have told you the part about Mom and Dad
6:50 PM
Me and my big mouth
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I appreciate you telling me, if it's worth anything
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:50 PM
Sorry...
6:50 PM
I didn't wanna upset you
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I care about you, you know? and it still affects me too, even if it won't be in the same way
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:51 PM
I... I know... Thank you. I guess I just didn't have anyone else to tell.
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it's okay! it would've happened eventually and I'm not totally oblivious either. im just very good at pretending things arent happening, I think
6:51 PM
Yosuke-nii?
6:52 PM
Would you be able to meet up sometime soon?
6:52 PM
i want Karu-chan to meet their uncle
6:52 PM
and i
6:52 PM
would like to see you again too.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:52 PM
Oh, yeah! I'd really like to see Hikaru as a human lol
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Yeah!! it'd be good if they saw you again ... I know you two technically met before but that
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:53 PM
It wasn't the best first impression lol...
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wasnt the best meeting. Sorry about, pushing you out again
6:53 PM
yeah...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:53 PM
Lol it's ok. In retrospect it's kinda funny
6:53 PM
I'm still mad, but it was funny
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ʕ´x`ʔ Sorry
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:54 PM
Omg I'm joking ;)
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Bears aren't very smart when they're panicking.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:54 PM
Don't worry, I'll come over on holiday and we can hang out, ok?
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!!Yeah!!!!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:54 PM
I'll bring my bike. Do you think they'll like a bike ride?
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Ooo! I'm sure! Everything that's new is interesting to them, hehe
6:55 PM
ʕ •̀ᴗ•́ ʔو ̑̑And I promise to most likely not push you out again!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:55 PM
I'll have to find a toddler size helmet...
6:55 PM
Please don't lol
6:55 PM
Ok... I'm... Emotionally exhausted
6:55 PM
I love you but I have to pass out
6:56 PM
Thanks for tell me stuff Ted... And thank you for listening
6:56 PM
I hope we can get this moon stuff figured out too
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We talking about a lot of big topics, huh? I don't even know if I fully get any of them but I'm glad we got to talk about them! So thank you for the same things.
6:56 PM
Ah... Yeah
6:56 PM
Please rest up, okay? And let me know when you can come by!!! ʕ∩˃o˂∩ʔ♡Love you!!!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:57 PM
Lol, I will. See you soon Ted. Get lots of rest too, ok? You need it
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I'll try!! Hehe
6:57 PM
A bear does need his bearuty sleep...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/3/2020 6:58 PM
Omg
6:58 PM
Take a nap
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I wiiiill!! I will!! Karu-chan finally seems to have grasped bed times which has been very nice
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Text from [BLOCKED NUMBER] you're actually not that hard to find for someone trying to be secretive. your cyber security sucks!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 9:34 PM
I mean... I dunno how to make it better actually
9:34 PM
Anyway, here's the thing
9:34 PM
First, Teddie is my brother, I figure you figured that out
9:35 PM
We were talking and we discovered something
9:35 PM
We were talking about how whatever is influencing the app most likely has a control radius
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if it's anything like what we had, i could see that. do you think the radius is influencing something?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 9:37 PM
Well, I've been having nonstop nightmares-- like what Akira was getting... And I know Naru has too.
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oh, he hasn't stopped getting them... they've gotten worse since. well, you know.
9:39 PM
the only way to check if it has a radius would be to sleep without a phone nearby. have you tried that?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 9:39 PM
Well, here's the thing...
9:40 PM
We discovered the radius is actually Tokyo.
9:40 PM
I stayed with Teddie over the weekend and I didn't have a single problem. He's in Okina, a couple hours out.
9:41 PM
I even had my phone with me and opened the app to test
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that's... a pretty big radius.
9:42 PM
i'd say we can look into some testing, but we wouldn't know what we're looking for. it's not like the nightmares have a spawn point.
9:42 PM
unless...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 9:42 PM
Unless?
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unless they do and the app is from the same spawn point.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 9:43 PM
Hmm...
9:43 PM
Well
9:43 PM
Akira and I are both living in Yongen Jaya, right?
9:43 PM
I mean, that's where the coffee shop was
9:44 PM
You don't have to confirm, but
9:44 PM
Is that a good place to start?
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just because he works there doesn't mean he lives there.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 9:44 PM
Fair...
9:44 PM
I just dunno where to start...
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yongen jaya was the first place that came to mind, so starting there would be easiest. i've got eyes in the sky there, anyway.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 9:46 PM
Of course you do...
9:46 PM
I'm just wondering what the entity that's causing all this is... And where it's located (edited)
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the more you expect this kind of stuff, the less disappointed you'll be!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 9:47 PM
Right;;;
9:47 PM
I think I'll try and get closer to Naru and see where they're located
9:47 PM
If they're close to the area we might have a connection
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maybe don't get cozy with strangers until we know more. we don't know what we're looking for, so we could be looking right at the danger if we're not careful.
9:49 PM
akira's not right right now, so i have to be the voice of reason, i guess? gross!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 9:55 PM
LMAO
9:56 PM
I don't think Naru is much to worry about... I think they're just a normal person that got swept up in this I mean, we met in person once-- on accident-- and they just seem... I dunno But I'll try to be careful
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wow, hate akira that much, huh? even if it was an accident, if you can't think of a word to describe them... y'know. being careful is a good idea.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 10:01 PM
Why would you think I hate him!? I just mean that Naru is just... Skittish. Shy. Anxious... That's all.
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you shouldn't laugh when someone's not acting right. well.... even if you trust them. wait until we do a survey of the area. are you going to help us out if we find anything?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 10:05 PM
I was laughing at you being the voice of reason, actually Ofc. You can count on me to help
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woooow. rude!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 10:05 PM
LMAO
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you'll hear from me if we find something. if we don't... well.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 10:06 PM
I am worried about Akira tho... He should try what I did
10:06 PM
If he needs a place to stay, I can pull some strings
10:06 PM
That's a super fancy inn in Inaba I can get a discount at? ;)
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if i send him that message, he'll think you're flirting with him. it might work, though... he needs some sleep. we all do.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 10:13 PM
I'll contact 🐦 and ask about getting you guys in. But go ahead and tell Akira, he always thinks I'm flirting lol
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you mean you're not?? he'll be heartbroken.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/1/2021 10:14 PM
Omg shut up ;T you're gonna make me feel bad
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so you are a big softie!! i knew it. i won't tell him you're not interested, he can figure that out for himself.
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 6:58 PM
@Kayla, male thot enemy of state I tried to get some time away. But .... it's nothing too weird I guess?? Got a migraine as I was headed to the train station.
6:59 PM
I just don't feel comfortable talking about ... me things. In there. If somebody is watching like you guys think..
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 7:06 PM
I gotcha. I wonder why you got a migraine on the way out...? I mean, I didn't exactly feel... GOOD on the train. I felt like crap lol. I guess it could have been a migraine? But I was so tired and already on it and I felt better the second it left Tokyo...
7:06 PM
I wonder what's going on in that case
7:07 PM
Is it because I publicly told you to leave? I'm sorry, it's probably my fault
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 7:07 PM
I. I don't know???
7:07 PM
I don't know about this stuff.
7:07 PM
So don't apologise.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 7:08 PM
I know, but still. I should be watching what I'm saying and I'm not
7:09 PM
Sorry, it's not about me
7:09 PM
You said you haven't exactly gotten worse, right?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 7:10 PM
No. Not really.
7:10 PM
Like.. a little bit worse. But.. not much.
7:15 PM
It's.. it's not that the nightmares got worse or anything. I just find myself looking over my shoulder a lot. 😅
7:15 PM
Even if nobody else is there.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 7:17 PM
Hmm...
7:18 PM
I guess that's pretty different from my experience
7:18 PM
But what kinda stuff are you seeing while awake?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 7:18 PM
Uhh... shadowy figures in the distance. I guess. I blink and they just go.
7:19 PM
It feels like they're watching me but. . . Honestly it might just be me seeing things.
7:19 PM
Lack of sleep.
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 7:53 PM
I'm... really sorry I'm not much help in all this.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 7:59 PM
It's ok. It could be lack of sleep but... It's best to treat it as real
7:59 PM
If you can Naru
7:59 PM
Can you try to leave town even if it hurts?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 8:01 PM
For..how long??
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 8:04 PM
I dunno. Just a couple nights of sleep helped me
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 8:05 PM
I can try to get out of town.. yeah.
8:09 PM
I just. Don't.. I don't like this. I don't like any of this. Every thought about it makes me feel sick to my stomach.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 8:10 PM
I know... But we do need to talk about it and find some kind of solution
8:10 PM
We can't keep running (edited)
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 8:12 PM
But that's all I want to do.
8:12 PM
I.
8:12 PM
I just want to be safe.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 8:13 PM
I know... We'll figure something out. I'll talk to Nao again and see what he says
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 8:15 PM
There's nothing i can do about it... so I just. feel so helpless.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 8:16 PM
You can try leaving? Getting yourself someplace else and see if it's safe? I know it sounds stupid, but...
8:16 PM
I swear it works
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 8:18 PM
I want to leave but . I .. I'm worried about leaving at the same time
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 8:18 PM
I understand that...
8:18 PM
But your safety is more important, right?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 8:21 PM
I guess???
8:21 PM
..it is.
8:22 PM
I'm. At a point where I've had enough.. I. I'm gonna try again.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 8:24 PM
Good. If you need any help, let me know. I can always strap you onto my bike and force you out lol!
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 8:30 PM
Lol no thanks
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 8:31 PM
Ok ok
8:31 PM
But I can still help if you need it
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/7/2021 8:32 PM
I. Really appreciate It.
8:32 PM
Thanks.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/7/2021 8:32 PM
Of course...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 9:59 PM
@corvidknight [Text from Lover Boy ❤️] so this is gonna sound weird, but i didnt actually have any nightmares when i stayed over at your place. i think it might have been something to do with you? (edited)
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:01 PM
This brings a whole new meaning to "your curry is magical".
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:21 PM
omg dont toot your own horn just yet bucko i think its because you and yu have the same ability
10:22 PM
for a time yu got rid of the nightmares too, but... i dunno, i guess whatevers (or whoever?) is causing it decided to bypass that
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:22 PM
I'll toot whatever horn I feel like, bucko. If Yu's not having any luck, the door here is always open.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:25 PM
i can never tell if youre annoyed or being flirty well... i guess it wouldnt hurt... but i hate to impose. can i pay you rent or something? ill bring my own futon itll be like a daily slumber party
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:27 PM
If it'll make you feel better, you can. Rent isn't a requirement, though.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:28 PM
why are you so nice???
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:29 PM
Maybe I was born with it.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:29 PM
you dont know me that well, i could be a murderer or something i have knives on my wall
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:32 PM
They're ancient. You'd probably break them before they did any kind of piercing.
10:32 PM
Are you going to try and kill me, Pancake?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:38 PM
no!!! but like, i totally could!!!
10:38 PM
you should be more weary of strangers yeesh
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:40 PM
You had every opportunity to kill me when you were here, and you didn't take it. If you're going to try and be threatening, at least do it before I know you're completely harmless.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:43 PM
i guess i gave off the impression, huh? well, i wont hurt you obvs, but i still dont know if you should be letting random dudes sleep in your bed i guess weve been talking on the app for a few months so its not... that weird, i guess
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:44 PM
I wouldn't let you anywhere near us if I thought you were a threat, Pancake.
10:44 PM
I'm surprised you think so low of me.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:45 PM
i dont! i guess im just not sure what sort of person you are you arent exactly super upfront about your feelings
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:45 PM
Aren't I?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:46 PM
i dunno i thought you hated me and thought i was annoying for the longest time
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:46 PM
Pancake.
10:46 PM
That's your default state of thinking.
10:47 PM
You don't need me to be upfront about my feelings on that, you just assume that's what people think.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:49 PM
well sure ok but i dont exactly wanna step on any more toes than necessary if i think someone is annoyed with me id try to not interact with them as much i guess. i mean, i havent exactly met people that will tell me if theyre annoyed with me like you would. usually theyre just painfully nice and hate me in secret lmao
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:50 PM
Doesn't that mean that you should be the one being cautious about who you're associating with?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:51 PM
well yeah i mean i try to be but how am i supposed to make friends if im scared of everyone being shitty in secret?
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:52 PM
We're friends, aren't we?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:53 PM
ofc i mean i hope we are
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:53 PM
Do you think I'm shitty in secret?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:55 PM
no i know you well enough now to know that if you had a problem, youd tell me
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:56 PM
There you go, then. You completed step one.
10:56 PM
Just keep doing that.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:56 PM
well... alright lol i guess that was easy
10:57 PM
i guess ive just had some bad experiences, but i really shouldnt let them stop me from going forward
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:57 PM
You're right.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 10:58 PM
im just scared of being hurt again? but right now i think ive filled my "new friend" quota
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 10:59 PM
Reach out when you think you're ready. Life might be short, but that's no reason to spread yourself thin over relationships that may not be worth your time. Invest in what you have.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 11:01 PM
thats true. i have a lot of people i would consider family
11:02 PM
suddenly sad that some people i want to be there just wont be but i guess i have to keep going without them
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 11:03 PM
You spend a lot of time being sad over things that you can't change. It must be exhausting.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 11:04 PM
it super is lol
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 11:09 PM
So focus on something else. What kind of soup did you want?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 11:09 PM
soup? uhhh... i like egg drop. or chicken noodle
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 11:10 PM
On it.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 11:11 PM
thanks... should i come over there? i mean the soup has to get to me somehow
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 11:11 PM
Can you make it without passing out on the side of the street?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 11:12 PM
...
11:12 PM
yes
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 11:13 PM
If I have to carry you here, you're stuck here for a few days.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 11:14 PM
ill at least pack some pajamas and bring the futon then
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 11:14 PM
You don't need to bring the futon.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 11:16 PM
ok, that means ill be less likely to pass out from carrying something soft and heavy LMAO omw
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corvidknight 2/24/2021 11:17 PM
Don't push yourself.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/24/2021 11:20 PM
ill try not to ;)
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 3/2/2021 7:14 AM
Hana-chan, could I trouble you for a moment?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/2/2021 7:19 AM
Yeah? What's up?
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 3/2/2021 7:19 AM
Could I bother you to come over for breakfast? (edited)
7:20 AM
He's been terribly sad since you left and I think he'd like to see you again.
7:20 AM
Of course I'll be cooking, if you're alright with that. (edited)
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/2/2021 7:20 AM
Huh? He has? Jeez...
7:20 AM
Yeah that's fine. Do you need me to bring anything or help?
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 3/2/2021 7:21 AM
Not at all! Simply bring yourself and I'm sure he'll cheer right up!
7:22 AM
We'll be having omurice with several accompaniments. So make sure to bring your appetite as well!
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/2/2021 7:22 AM
Sure thing Thanks Haru
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Echo, tangent lore whisperer 3/2/2021 7:25 AM
It's my pleasure. (๑´v`๑❁)
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:37 PM
CrowWatching
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:37 PM
hey!
9:38 PM
im fine i promise
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:38 PM
I know. Sunflower's a bit concerned, though. When's the last time you had a check up?
9:38 PM
Not one of mine. A medical one.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:38 PM
omgstfu
9:38 PM
i mean ... couple years ig
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:38 PM
It's a private chat, I'm allowed to fluster you.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:38 PM
s
9:38 PM
Syop
9:38 PM
Stop
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:39 PM
Maybe. I like it when you blush. You're cute.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:39 PM
ugh
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:39 PM
Would you consent to a check up from one of my contacts?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:39 PM
contacts.....?
9:39 PM
uh
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:39 PM
She's a certified doctor.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:39 PM
oh! then thats fine
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:39 PM
Knows what we've been up to, so she's trustworthy. (edited)
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:39 PM
ohhhhh i gotcha
9:40 PM
btw... the leaves are related
9:40 PM
i mean
9:40 PM
if youre so exhausted from casting magic, the leaf will make you feel right as rain again
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:40 PM
I figured, from the way you were talking. Sunflower wants to give a leaf to my contact to see what she can come up with. She used to provide medicine for our... excursions.
9:40 PM
We had patches for that.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:40 PM
got it
9:41 PM
the fox would come into the other world with us
9:41 PM
demand tons of money
9:41 PM
there was a time... we went through an entire place in one day
9:41 PM
i used up my savings
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:41 PM
You've recovered them by now, I hope.
9:42 PM
I'll let her know, by the way. She can make a house call, or schedule you for the morning?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:42 PM
well yeah, its been about... Ten years
9:42 PM
uh... morning is fine.
9:42 PM
i would like to be dressed by the time i see her and i know how you are at this point
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:43 PM
Well. Listen.
9:43 PM
It's been a few days, you can't fault me for that.
9:43 PM
Besides, you sound stressed. It's something that will take both of my hands to fix. I've got new massage oils for you.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:43 PM
i know, sorry. ive been getting settled
9:43 PM
Iomg
9:43 PM
im gonna die
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:44 PM
That's fine. I know CPR.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:44 PM
you are the worst lol ❤️
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:44 PM
I don't see you complaining. ❤️
9:44 PM
I'm making us some curry, so come hungry.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:45 PM
i am starving next time ill cook tho
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:45 PM
Sure, sure. No problem.
9:45 PM
I'll see you soon?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/27/2021 9:47 PM
yeah, omw
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corvidknight 5/27/2021 9:48 PM
❤️
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Mitsuru Kirijo BOT 5/31/2021 12:42 PM
Hanamura, I'd like an update if you have the time.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/31/2021 1:19 PM
an update? whats up boss?
1:19 PM
I mean, sorry, I typed bad by habit...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/31/2021 1:30 PM
What would you like an update on?
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Mitsuru Kirijo BOT 5/31/2021 1:39 PM
It's fine.
1:39 PM
Just an update on your condition.
1:39 PM
You went to the physician recently, didn't you?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/31/2021 1:41 PM
Oh, yeah... Well... My head has been hurting nonstop... It's been hard to sleep. Doctor says I need to really start taking care of myself. Not much to say there.
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Mitsuru Kirijo BOT 5/31/2021 1:56 PM
I hope this has been proof enough for you to start doing as she says.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/31/2021 1:58 PM
I mean, I didn't say I wasn't going to.
1:58 PM
Sorry, my head hurts really bad and I'm tired. I don't mean to snap.
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Mitsuru Kirijo BOT 5/31/2021 2:00 PM
Perhaps that's a sign to go get some rest.
2:00 PM
I'll be in contact later, Hanamura.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 5/31/2021 2:00 PM
I've been trying... Ok...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 6/5/2021 5:49 PM
Today was absolutely awful. Guilt ate away at his stomach, making Yosuke feel nauseous and sickly. Or, maybe that was the exhaustion? It was probably both. Entering the apartment made his head spin. The sense of ease was offset by the feeling of being an unwelcome guest. Normally, coming home was a comfort... Now, it was cold. Empty. He stands in the doorway, eyes watering and chest tight as he felt the loneliness permeate the air. He wanted to focus on his boyfriend, think about how they're gonna have a nice night tonight, he CAN'T keep feeling so awful... But he wants to scream and sob and BEG to stop feeling this way. He moves to his room, looking over how dusty and abandoned it looked. He ends up slumping onto it, letting out a relieved sigh, despite how painfully quiet the apartment was. He curls up, his body easing. He's home, but... he doesn't feel it, either. He doesn't know where home was anymore. He wants it to be with Akira. He doesn't want to depend on him, but he's falling apart, and the other was so eager to help. He can't keep using him like this... When he gets up, he's going to find that spare key and go over. He's going to make Akira a nice dinner as a thank you. Probably curry, but yellow curry, his favorite. When he.... gets..... up.
5:49 PM
----- Yosuke's eyes snap open. How long has it been? Shit, just what he needed to do, worry his lover the second he has an emotional break down. What a good boyfriend. It's dark. Eerily dark. Pitch black. It feels like maybe all the light was snuffed out, and he had his eyes closed still... but he was blinking, rapidly, in an attempt to see. All he can see is two yellow points of light. Seeing the eyes-- eyes!?-- blink, Yosuke yelps and immediately scoots away on his bed, struggling to breathe. He slams his eyes shut. "This is just a nightmare, just a nightmare--" Repeating it seemed to help him gain the courage to open his eyes. He can see the figure's outline. The walls looked dark red. He stutters and tries not to panic, but he can't breathe. When his vision clears, he sees that it's... him. Standing there, looking exhausted, cranky, unhappy. Of course it did. Yosuke was all of those things. "Tell me what you want," Yosuke puffs out, his lungs feeling tight. The shadow stares hard, blinking slowly. "Please-- I'll accept you, I just wanna know wh-why..." (edited)
5:50 PM
TW; for body horror, monster stuff, blood 8U (I just really like to write horror so go in with some caution if you're disturbed easy) Slowly, Yosuke started to feel panic rise in his neck as he noticed something was deeply wrong. He was looking at a reflection of his own face, but an eye seemed to be sliding down his cheekbone, his chin starting to elongate down his neck like putty. Yosuke stared in horror as he saw his own face melting, the mouth hanging open as the shadow continued to stare. He couldn't say or do anything. He was definitely in the depth of a crippling panic attack, and he was frozen. Suddenly, the mouth was opening, cutting through the head like a zipper. Yosuke could see the top of his own mouth as the top part of his head lolled back, like a plastic egg being opened. Dark tendrils emerged, and he swears he can see a thousand golden eyes.
5:51 PM
He doesn't hesitate, then. The freeze part was over, time to fight. He launches himself forward, tripping on the bed's blanket and slamming the front of his hands into his shadow's shoulders, shoving him hard into the closet door. Darkness slithered up Yosuke's arms and over his face, trying to get in, trying to enter through his teeth and ears and nose and eyes-- It burned. He flounders away, biting down on anything in his mouth, slamming his eyes shut, punching away around his head. His back hits his desk, and knowing the way to the door, he stumbles to the ground and crawls into the rest of the house. Red smoke. It filled his senses, burned, made him cough and gag. He stayed low to the ground, dumbly aware that that was what you did when there was fire, right?
5:51 PM
He feels something claw at his legs and back, and he turns. Yosuke howls in terror as he sees himself, his body, parted at the seams, black vines sprouting from his bones and ripping him apart from the inside. Staring at the monster that used to be him, Yosuke knew: If I stay here, that's what's gonna happen to me. He stumbles into standing, smoke be damned, and sprints towards the door. It was dark, however, and he slammed into the wall of the living room, feeling something sticky under his touch. He screamed as loud as he could again, hurting his throat, but it felt like his lips were sealed. He was already melting, he knew it. His mouth was melted together, he just knew it. He closed his eyes and couldn't open them again. He screams again, but it's in his throat. He feels like he's drowning. He forces his mouth open as he feels his own bones like razor blades against his stomach. He doubles over and vomits on the floor, falling into it, feeling the hot fluid under his palms. Forcing his eyes open, he sees something dark-- too dark. This sort of thing shouldn't have come out of him. In the dimness he can see shimmers of red brilliance in the liquid, realizing what it was. Realizing what was happening to him. In one last push to survive, to flee, he shoves himself forward. He collides with another wall, but he knows what it is. His hand pats it down until he finds the doorknob to the front door, and suddenly, everything is flooded with painful light. It hurts his eyes but he has to get out, he has to get away.
5:51 PM
He collapses on the walkway outside of his apartment, gripping the railing. He didn't realize he was screaming and sobbing until his throat and chest hurt, until he feels wetness on his face. He peels his eyes open to fight the sunlight, seeing why his hands were so slick. He was soaked in dark blood, iron permeating his mouth and throat. Slowly, Yosuke chances a look over his shoulder to the apartment he just left... Nothing. Just the telltale signs of vomited blood on his floor, smears of it on his clothes, the walls, the door as he stumbled to get out. No smoke, no monsters with his face, no blood on the walls. He was dumbly aware of someone grabbing him, tensing painfully, his head spinning from the fear. It was his neighbor-- a nicer older man, who was saying something, but Yosuke couldn't hear him. (edited)
5:52 PM
Minutes pass. Yosuke sits outside his home, staring at the empty apartment as he hears people talking around him over the pounding in his head. All of his neighbors were out-- of course they were. He was screaming like he was being murdered. He's dumbly aware that he needs to call his boyfriend. He can't worry him like this. Yosuke reaches for his phone, pressing it to his ear, already hearing the ringing. He doesn't remember dialing. "Akira?" It hurts so much to talk. His throat was raw from screaming and... puking blood, he guessed. "Can you come get me?"
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Emily eats TWO lemons 3/22/2022 12:43 AM
An all too familiar sensation would be felt perhaps... the unnerving sense of Dejavu caused by. Such a uniquely distinct aesthetic here. While the outer edge of this domain, proved little in the ways of any evidence in regards to a culprit. To a member of the investigation team, or the older shadow operative members.... Those who were present for the P-1 climax would distinctly remember. Though a blood red sky remained obscured here. By the numerous structures looming above.- crimson luminosity would still illuminate this space . Perfectly full moon acting as a spotlight for what... best could be considered as an altar of some kind. A grand form- a great marble platform- etched in diamond pattern. Emerald glow shining through like a system of veins. Each line eventually converging to one of 8 pillars surrounding the outer rim. Their appearance.. no doubt,, stylized flames. Though with certain shapes, and weeping eyes. Their shape no doubt resembled that of human form. Hands raised to the sky... or. What.. rather. They supported. A writihing mass of shadow- moving as one. Though what it constructed was far from completion. Little evident aside from the numerous sprawling arms that jutted out of what looked similar to a torso. Even in this state.
12:45 AM
It would be long until any other persona users would reach here... But. With his intentions. It was important here, to demonstrate to Hanamura. The exact dangers he faced. Of course, words alone may have done just fine. But... With a will like Yosuke's? No second chances were worth the time of day. (edited)
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/22/2022 1:03 AM
"Hey... wake up!" Yosuke groaned gently at the pervasive presence in his mind. It was familiar, but distantly so. He hadn't felt it in a long, long time... "Come on, get a move on! We're in trouble!" That was his Persona, wasn't it? Susano-O was yelling at him... It took a moment, but it suddenly dawned on him. If Susano-O was here, then--! Yosuke gasps awake, choking a bit on on the air. Using what strength he had to lift himself into sitting up. Panicking, it took him a moment to wake fully, taking in his surroundings. ... this was... the other world, wasn't it...? He lets out a long, shaky breath, relaxing a tiny bit, looking up at the blood red sky, at the tall buildings and fog. He patted down his body, looking for his glasses, then remembering that he kept them in his bag. It was... back in the lab, wasn't it? Right before... He fell asleep. Was this a dream? He didn't want to risk that. It felt far too real, but a lot of dreams felt real. He had to find a way to survive. Looking around, he saw some shrapnel, moving quietly to it. Using his teeth, he tore off a bit of his sweater at the sleeve, using the thick material to make a handle for the sharp metal. He gripped it tight in his hand, coming to stand finally. He faced the altar before him, eyes dancing over the details etched in stone. He hadn't seen anything quite like it before. Taking a cautious step forward, he froze as he saw the convergence of shadow mist. He gripped his makeshift dagger harder, his muscles taunt. He faced down the creature that was amassed and readied himself for a strike. But he stayed still, breathing thinly through his teeth. There could be more shadows in the darkness-- he could be overrun easily. He didn't want to chance it. "... who are you?" He tried to say, throat tight. Something brought him here-- maybe he could communicate with it? (edited)
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Emily eats TWO lemons 3/22/2022 1:17 AM
That crimson haze- harsh.. not much moreso than the malicious presence that broke the quiet of this place. Otherworldy in the way it hung low over Hanamura's psyche. And the voice that would echo through one's ears and their very mind. "...It has been quite some time, Hanamura Yosuke. I suppose the sight..of . nor the.. feeling caused by the fog here would not be easily recalled.." ...That low voice. Each word heavy with venom. Malignant in it's very essence... distinct. Unmistakably so. Would the presence of a GOD eliminated years ago be believed so easily? Who was he to say? The very thought of all this. The rush he could feel from this long deprived personal interaction. Laughter would soon follow. Harsh. Cruel... Callous. (edited)
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/22/2022 1:27 AM
At the mention of the familiar, Yosuke's eyes widened. He was caught off guard by the visions of Inaba laid in red fog, their school turned into an amalgamation of buildings, his superiors hung up on crosses-- He remembers the pain this menace caused to Labrys... Sho... "YOU!" He didn't remember the name, it was too long for his liking-- but he knew it was named after the child of Izanami. It was the only thing he could recall when hearing it's name. "You're supposed to be-- Yu defeated you! WHY are you here now!?" Rage started to bubble in Yosuke's heart. The deaths this thing has caused, the TORTURE on he and his friends-- he could NEVER forgive that.
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Emily eats TWO lemons 3/22/2022 1:39 AM
"Shhhhhh...." That hush. Sudden and commanding... Not to quell one's worries, no.. but. To remind Yosuke once more of the power imbalance. A simple gesture... with his voice so... present in the environment itself. It almost sounded akin to harsh downpour. "...And to think. After I'd been so accommodating. You'd still retort like this...~?" The presence would shift. The bloody blanket at the Other's feet swirling as it did so. As if this .. formless mass was present in the space. Circling Yosuke from afar. "...And here I was. Ever so certain You'd want to escape the night terrors. And.. perhaps relieve your companions of them as well..?" (edited)
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/22/2022 1:46 AM
Yosuke stumbles back as the ground under his feet started to shift. Ah, he was only in his socks. Of course he would be, after being brought to this world suddenly. He grits his teeth in frustration, realizing that he was no match for the God. How was he going to get out of this... And then, the proposition was laid before him. Why would this creature even offer to get rid of them...? "I'm guessing you want something in return, don't you?" He tried to look brave again, but subconsciously made himself small, defensive. "Fine, what do you want me to do in order to relieve everyone?"
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Emily eats TWO lemons 3/22/2022 1:55 AM
"...And you believe that a single action will be enough...? Oh, Hanamura~... How ever so naive.." A slight chuckle. Almost playful in tone. And.. Perhaps it could have been seen that way. Had it not been for this.. specifc instance. Bodiless gaze intently watching as that form would shrink. "I say. I must admire the optimism. But one performance does not an actor make" ... Things would halt- the moon's light suddenly shining brighter than before. An illusion, no doubt. Truly now.. a spotlight upon where Yosuke stood. "No, Captain Ressentiment~ I believe your role in all this cannot be your premier alone."
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/22/2022 2:03 AM
Yosuke felt panic well up in him as he was bathed in light, trying to plant his feet to the ground and trying to see around him, but the brightness clouded his vision. "Dammit..." He used an arm to try and see the God, to try and shield the spotlight from his eyes. "So what you're saying is that you want me to perform a whole play for you...?" Yosuke was a mix of disgusted and annoyed. But he thought of... of everyone suffering. He thought of their tired faces and figures and thought of how many more people must be suffering the way he did. He remembers how he almost died, the horrifying nightmare that almost took his life... In order to make it stop, he had to do something. He wanted to blanch at the idea of doing anything for this thing, but knew he was stuck. "Fine. I'll do what you say." At least, until he can figure out a way to defeat the God once more.
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Emily eats TWO lemons 3/22/2022 2:11 AM
A faceless smile. Perhaps.. not to be seen. But the malicious glee was palpable. Every sensation Kagutsuchi had 'felt'... effecting this very environment. "...You could say I want you to perform, of course. But I suppose it would be more accurate to say... I wish for you to play a role." A pause for dramatic effect, maybe. In attempt to leave Yosuke hanging on those words. Allow him to process what exactly the deity wanted of him. "That last game of hangman.. Well. I suppose it could surmise what I've been after all along." (edited)
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/22/2022 2:17 AM
As he spoke, the realization was dawning more and more on him. What would this monster have him do? Who would he have to hurt in order to save himself and his friends? Perhaps he could think of it as biding time-- the others would come up with a way to stop him, right? Maybe at the end of the road they'd have to stop Yosuke himself... But he didn't want to think of that. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath... "You want me to hurt people, don't you?" Yosuke glared straight at the deity. "What makes you think I could ever do that?"
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Emily eats TWO lemons 3/22/2022 2:27 AM
"... You misunderstand... All I'm asking of you is to instill unrest into these people even further. If you manage to be successful ... and Nobody gets hurt...? Who am I to argue...?" The incomplete vessel would move ever so carefully. Large, needle-like claws splayed out above that small human frame. "... Though. Then again. If you're even incapable of that... well. Perhaps another... dear puppet could use a support unit. " Brief. To the point. Clear what Kagutsuchi had wanted of him. "...Though, If you're wishing for me to stop slaughtering innocent individuals... Is merely hurting others such an issue..?"
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/22/2022 2:33 AM
At the appearance of the large, clawed hand breaking the light above him, Yosuke gasped and shrunk down, his heart starting to hammer as fear overtook him. He felt frozen in terror. "Alright, I'll-- I'll do what you want." He wasn't going to be much use to anyone if he was dead-- and he definitely didn't want anyone else being pulled into this. He closed his eyes. "I guess as long as... as no more people have to die..." He knew he was walking straight into a trap. He knew that there was no way he was going to survive this, unless he waited it out and tried to find a weak point before he was discarded, outliving his usefulness. "Then... I'll do your damned performance. But... you MUST promise to stop messing with our sleep. And I mean EVERYONE."
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Emily eats TWO lemons 3/22/2022 2:41 AM
"...Consider it done. At least.. for the Persona users... And those in proximity." ...The grandure. These displays of power. All seemingly waved away with this agreement. As the altar once more became... Still.. Kagutsuchi remained. "I'm ever so grateful you see it this way. I'd hate to dispose of a puppet with such potential.... Even still That potential may not prove to be enough on it's own." A portion of the fog would seem to gather into a small mass- before condensing. A small vermillion crystal taking it's place. A visual representation of what he offered here. Hovering close to Yosuke's grasp. "...I entrust this power to you. Use it well. And do NOT disappoint."
2:43 AM
"...I'll be watching closely."
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/22/2022 2:48 AM
Yosuke leaned back as the crystal was offered to him, but slowly reached out to take it nonetheless. He felt the power bubble from within it and through his fingers. A fog dispersed from it, covering him from head to toe in a new outfit. Dark red and black in color, making him look like a performer on stage-- grandiose and proper, like a prince in a play. He reached up to touch at the new mask on his face, operatic in appearance, but a pitch black. The only thing he could really think at the moment was "I need to get out of here" and "at least I have shoes now." He felt a little bit more like a Phantom Thief, but knowing it was the outfit that horrible God gave him, he couldn't stop the feeling of wanting to crawl out of his skin. He supposed he couldn't tell the others about this... so instead he vowed himself to secrecy. He'll have to find out a solution on his own, and he tried to wrack his brain for answers as he exited the stage. [End Thread]
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/8/2022 2:48 AM
Yosuke finally turned his phone off, ears still red with frustration and his eyes watering from the urge to scream. He pinches the bridge of his nose to try and will his breathing to go down, but it didn't work. In moments his room was shrouded in darkness, too distracted by the chatroom to turn on the light. He decided he needed food, despite not being hungry. Leaving the shelter of his room in a huff, he crosses to the kitchen, stopping when he notices someone there. Yu was cradling a beer, a nasty habit that made Yosuke thin his lips. Why was he so angry, anyway? Because it was easy to be angry. "You shouldn't be drinking," Yosuke said bluntly, crossing into the kitchen to look into the fridge. "What do you want to eat?"
2:48 AM
@Phea: full-time twink bullier
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 11/8/2022 3:06 AM
After things had hit a boiling point, Yu decided it would've been best to take a moment away from the screen and stretch his legs a little. Not that he wanted to go far this late into the night, instead opting to simply grab for a drink from the bottom shelf. Not a healthy habit, he knew, but when things hit the fan, it was a relief to sit back and chug down a few beers until his head began to buzz and he forgot what had him so wound up in the first place. Most of the times he'd been upset, though, Yosuke hadn't typically been fuming. Especially not at him... But it was impossible to avoid now. If Yu had noticed any sooner, he would have retreated back to his room to avoid any confrontation, but when he heard Yosuke's scolding, all he could do was cringe. It wasn't like Yosuke was wrong--Drinking wasn't helping either of them at a time like this, but he still brought the bottle to his lips anyway, taking a quick swig to keep himself from making any comment he might regret, only bringing the glass down at his partner's question. "I don't feel like eating right now." His words were cold and somewhat meek, as if trying to keep things from exploding any further. Yu really didn't want to fight. He didn't want any of this. He just wanted things to go back to normal... But normal was far from something either of them had knew, at this point. "...I'm sorry," he fumbled out the apology, gaze refusing to meet with his partner. "I didn't mean to upset you."
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/8/2022 3:11 AM
Yosuke let out a puff through his nose, finally grabbing for some frozen vegetables in the freezer. He'll make something light. (TW; eating disorder) "I'm not hungry either," he said, knowing that Yu knew of his habit of not eating when he was stressed out, "but we both need to eat whether we like it or not-- and it's better than drinking." Yosuke paused when Yu finally apologized. Yosuke let out another breath, bracing his hands on the counter and lowering his head. He swallowed down an angry bite, thinking as he watched the vegetables he just opened. There were a little frosty, they needed to be cooked. "... I'm sorry too," despite his anger, his apology sounded genuine, "I didn't mean to snap at you... and... I didn't mean to hurt you so much you felt like you needed to drink over it." He reached to get the pan, turning on the heat. He was still going to make dinner, despite not being hungry. (edited)
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 11/8/2022 4:08 AM
A cringe erupted onto his face as his partner continued to direct his venom towards Yu's drinking. He knew Yosuke was upset, but... It did feel slightly uncalled for. At least the man had focused on making himself food. Really, Yu should have been eating, too, but he wanted to calm down before trying anything. With the way his stomach twisted even just taking a glance at his partner, eating was the last thing he felt capable of at the moment. With the heat emanating off of Yosuke, Yu had never really expected his apology to be returned. But, Yosuke was always a person of surprises, and now was no different, eyes widening slightly as his partner continued on. The whole situation only made his stomach drop more, vision continuing to focus on anything that wasn't Yosuke while he attempted to collect his thoughts. His last words in particular hit hard--it was difficult to even think about taking another sip now. "...It's okay." His eyes lingered on the bottle for a moment before he set it aside and pushed himself off the wall, making a mental note to throw it out later. There was no reason to be drinking in front of Yosuke right now. It was only making things worse, wasn't it...? "Don't worry about me." Not that things weren't bad for him, too, but he wouldn't openly admit that. Yosuke had been going through a whole lot worse mentally, and all he really wanted to do was make sure that he'd be alright. If Yosuke was happy, he'd be happy. That's all that mattered.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/8/2022 4:34 AM
Yosuke paused when he sensed movement, glancing over to see Yu setting down the bottle, finally. He breathed in relief at that, starting to dump the vegetables into the hot oil, pausing when he noticed Yu starting to leave. "Wait--" he grabbed for the others wrist, not wanting him to leave just yet. He felt that hollow pit of his fill with sorrow as he saw Yu's demeaner. Was he doing this...? "I-- I mean... Tell me what's wrong." He looked up, a hint of desperation in his tone, "Please? I-- I need you to tell me if something is wrong."
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 11/8/2022 4:48 AM
The sudden jerk at his wrist made Yu's spine straighten, freezing in place as he felt the other's stare digging into him. Those words felt like talons on top of it all, the hectic stuttering and pained voiced making it difficult to even breathe, let alone form any real response. How had he let things turn out like this...? It wasn't healthy. None of this was. That idea of a happy, good relationship had seemingly disappeared when Yosuke had... Now, it felt like nothing more than a far off memory. But, that didn't mean it was impossible to get back, right? If he could, then... He'd make it happen, one way or another. "...I don't want to see you hurt anymore." After a brief moment to let the words hang in the air, he moved his free hand over to the one Yosuke had grasping onto his wrist, lightly attempting to peel it off and intertwine their fingers to add onto his point. "I know you don't want to tell me what's going on, but... At least let me be there for you." After what felt like eons, his eyes finally raised to Yosuke's, wearing a weak, awkward smile. It was the most he could muster right now, but he hoped it would be enough. "I don't want us to keep being worlds apart." They certainly weren't right now, considering how they were more like inches away from one another physically. "Are you okay with that...?"
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/8/2022 4:58 AM
Yosuke felt relief as Yu laced their fingers, entered his bubble with warmth and compassion. God, the feeling practically melted him, his shoulders going slack, his eyes following Yu's feet. His partner's warmth filled him, making his eyes prick with tears, breathing in hard through his nose to try and will them away. Part of him wanted to pull away, remembering the threats that Kagutsuchi laid out before him, remembering the danger that he now was to the people he loved. He wanted to push away and force down the emotions like a large pill he needed to swallow, standing there and trembling as he debated what to do. But... Yu assured him that even if Yosuke kept his secrets, he was still there. In those warm words, he let himself relax. He looked up to Yu, eyes shimmering as tears threatened to spill over, his nose starting to turn red before he sniffs. He closes his eyes and presses them into Yu's shoulder, ignoring the sizzle of vegetables because the warmth is overwhelmingly comforting. He needs this. "I'm sorry..." Yosuke swallowed down his watery voice, gripping Yu's hand tight. "You're just going to have to trust me... Ok?" He can't say anything, lest the one listening in hears. (edited)
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 11/8/2022 5:33 AM
Those words were difficult to listen to. Really, the whole display was painful to watch, especially the tearful eyes that Yosuke had directed his way. Never did he think he'd see his partner in such pain, especially not something he could seemingly fix... ...It burned him more than any argument with his partner ever could. At least an argument he could fix with an apology or talking things out. Here... There was no easy way to fix things. He didn't even know what the problem was to fix. All of him yearned to know what Yosuke was hiding, but... "...It's okay. I trust you." Those words were genuine, as much as it did feel like a betrayal of everyone else's worries to express. Things with Yosuke were horribly wrong—he knew that, but... He was still his partner, through and through. Nothing could change that bond, and now was no different. Kitchen safety was still important to practice, even in the heat of the moment. Between comforting pats and running his hand through his partner's hair, he'd been awkwardly reaching over to the pan and turning over the vegetables to make sure they cooked evenly. After all, Yosuke still needed a decent meal after all of this. "You don't have to hold back your tears." The words had come out somewhat absent-mindedly while he was turning off the heat, watching as the oil continued to sizzle just to the point of perfection—Well, as perfect as slightly freezer burnt bagged vegetables could get. "I'm here for you, wherever, whenever. We'll get through this together." Not that he knew what 'this' was, but did it truly matter? All that he was focused on was making sure that Yosuke could make it through this rough patch. If Yosuke couldn't tell him... Then it was okay, but he knew it had to be serious. ...Maybe Sho was right. Or, maybe, he was starting to overthink things too... But, what he did know was that Yosuke was in trouble, and he was going to do damn near anything to get him out of it.
5:33 AM
The thought had him gripping tighter into Yosuke, arm wrapping around his partner's waist and pushing against him lightly. He'd keep him safe, at all costs. He had to.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/8/2022 5:59 AM
Yosuke let himself relax and even his breathing in the other's hold, vaguely aware of Yu cooking for him. He would think the arrangement was funny if he wasn't so, so tired. It was just nice to be... Held. To have physical contact. To not feel alone. At the mention of holding back tears, Yosuke mumbles a, "'m not," into Yu's shoulder. He wasn't going to cry just yet. He was just happy for the contact, frankly. He was genuinely relaxed, like all of his strings were being plucked one by one. "Thank you," is all he can really say. He knew he couldn't involve Yu, he might get them both killed, or worse... It was hard to fight an enemy that was five steps ahead. When Yu tightens his grip on Yosuke's waist, his cheeks burn, looking up at Yu with a questioning glance. "Yu? Is everything alright?"
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 11/8/2022 6:18 AM
All Yu could do at the other's protests was smile to himself, happily taking in the moment. Having his partner like this felt so... Strange, in some ways, but it wasn't as if he minded. Not at all, if the hand he wrapped around Yosuke's waist was any indication, much to his embarrassment once the move was pointed out. "I..." The words weren't coming out, face lightly flushed as his brain computed the move. After a couple moments of nothing processing, he hesitantly removed his hand from Yosuke's waist, coyly turning his focus back to the pan as he moved everything off of the heat source once and for all. "...Sorry. Instinct." It was a little more than that, but his brain wasn't even capable of thinking about any of that with the way Yosuke had looked to him. How could he, when his partner was so close, looking up to him with such a warm, bright glow? Moments like these were his kryptonite. It was a wonder he could have gotten through anything as a private detective when his brain when so easily off the rails at things like this. Luckily, most of his cases didn't involve Yosuke, but if still was amazing he'd made it this far with someone who could take his breath and thoughts away with little more than a look. That embarrassment had persistented as Yu lightly gestured Yosuke towards the fridge, grabbing for some left over chicken and rice to microwave and mix-in with the veggies. It wasn't perfect, but it would get the job done. "You know you're more important to me than anything, right?" He started up as soon as he'd collected his bearings, absentmindedly tapping in a couple of numbers before starting up the heating process. "Please, whatever is happening... Be safe. I couldn't take losing you." There was no way he could lie about that even if he tried. Yosuke was... Well, in some ways, he felt like his everything. He couldn't imagine his life without him—and there was no way he'd let that possibility ever become reality, one way or another.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/17/2022 5:25 AM
Yosuke felt the chill as Yu moved out of his space, their noses bumping from how close they had been. Yosuke rubbed at his neck, his face now a pink hue as he leans into the counter. He looks up when Yu pulls out more ingredients, insisting on taking over. He would have preferred fresh rice, but this will do. Either way, he instead had to watch as Yu made him food. When Yosuke heard the soft words his face turned bright red again. Yu had a tendency to say sappy things, but this is something you reserved for your long time lover. Yosuke stared at the back of his head, trying to glean the meaning behind those words-- did Yu like him like that? He was just holding him so tightly a minute ago. They just shared an embrace, but it was so hard to tell with Yu. He could just think of Yosuke as a platonic life partner... It was no secret Yosuke harbored feelings. His heart was swelling. "I... You're so important to me, too." He manages to get out, "what I mean is -- I'd do anything for you." Anything... Even sign my life away to the devil. At that thought, Yu brings it back to his situation, and Yosuke realizes where they stood. "I'm sorry," is all he manages. "I'm sorry that all of this is... Stressing you out so much. I'll try to be better, I promise..." He'd do anything, after all. All of this, realizing to himself how important he was to Yu, realizing how his mood must be making the other feel... The self loathing was bubbling up in his chest, again. (edited)
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 11/17/2022 6:31 AM
Their relationship was… Complicated, to say the least. When his uncle asked about his romantic relationships, the topic always seemed to inevitably come back to Yosuke, and Yu was never sure how to answer on what was going on between the two of them. They weren’t boyfriends—Not in name itself, at least. They weren’t just friends, either. What they felt like was… Something in between. Sure, they’d hold hands, occasionally cuddle and flirt, but… They never did anything more. For a long time, that was because of Yosuke’s insistence that he had no interest in men, and Yu had done his best to respect his partner’s boundaries, never bringing up anything explicitly romantic and continuing to keep things as platonic between them as possible. Now… Yu didn’t know what was holding them back. Sure, Yosuke had a boyfriend, but his boyfriend had his own poly relationship, and, as far as he was aware, Yosuke hadn’t seemed particularly against having multiple partners of his own, and Yu wasn’t against it either, by any means, but… Whenever the question was directed towards his relationship with Yosuke, all Yu could answer his uncle with was awkward indecisiveness, finding it difficult to call him little more than his partner. Maybe one day it would be more. Yu wished it would be, but… They seemed to be making things work as they were. Yosuke was okay with it, right…? Then Yu should have been, too. Still, that didn’t keep his heart from skipping a beat as his affectionate words were returned, cheeks darkening even more as he turned back to face his partner. They were clumsy, sure, but that had always been part of his partner’s charm. It never took away from anything on Yu’s side, at the very least, finding his stutters and trailing off only all the more charming.
6:31 AM
“Anything?” The words were repeated with a coy, yet playful smirk etched across his face. His cheeks were still burning, but that almost felt like it was being covered up by the borderline mischievous look he wore, gaze practically falling into Yosuke’s as slowly inched forward. What did ‘anything’ include, exactly…? Maybe, depending on how serious Yosuke was about that statement…“...If anything’s on the table, then maybe I wouldn’t mind trying—” Beep! Beep! Beep! …The sound of the microwave going off had completely taken him out of the moment, head shooting back to the blaring sound and free arm once again reaching to shut off the alarm. The train of thought he previously was thrown to the wind in an instant, all potential momentum he had disappearing along with it. Talk about bad timing… He lightly shook his head to himself, reaching up to a shelf and bringing down a pair of plates to throw their dishes onto, keeping their fingers intertwined all the while. It may have made things a little more tedious, but Yu was nothing if not stubborn, refusing to break the tie between them at all costs. His eyes flickered back at the other’s next set of words, a light frown forming on his face as he set down the utensil he had been using to divide their meals. Instinctively, his hand tightened around Yosuke’s hand, finding his heart sinking at the other’s words. Why was Yosuke acting like he was in the wrong…? Was there really anything wrong here that could be pinned onto his partner? Sure, things had been rough, but it wasn’t something that Yosuke could control… Right? Sure, they had been keeping their secrets, but… Like Yosuke said, he had his reasons. If he could tell Yu, he would. The man was certain of at least that much.
6:31 AM
“You never have to apologize to me.” His words were firm, making sure that Yosuke was confident that Yu wasn’t saying that just to make him feel a little better in the moment. They didn’t need those types of words. At least, not in moments like these where there felt like there was little to fault his partner for. “I just want you to be safe and happy. You can do that for me, right?” Using his previous statement about being able to do 'anything' directly against him felt like a slightly dirty move, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Accompanying his proposition was a light smile, hoping to do what little he could to lighten Yosuke’s mood. Not an easy task at the moment, but if he could achieve anything at all to make Yosuke feel better, he would consider that a win. (edited)
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/21/2022 12:33 AM
Yosuke watches Yu, not taking his eyes off of him. Whether it's Yu getting into his space and suggesting something unspoken, or whether it's Yu squeezing his hand and assuring him he would be ok… Yosuke couldn't take his eyes off of him. He really loved him, and… Yu knew just what to say to make him feel a bit better. It made the tightness in Yosuke's shoulders lower, and he felt bad for their argument to begin with. "I'm sorry we fought," he said, leaning forward to press his forehead to Yu's. It was a little awkward, he was a bit shorter, but they made it work. "I…" he can't promise he'll keep himself safe. "I'll do my best to stay safe." He parts and smiles, warmly. Genuinely. "Just… one thing. Promise you'll keep being yourself." Yosuke laughs a little bit, his cheeks going pink. "Just… I think with all of this, the best thing I can do is be myself. But it's only fair that you're the same, too. Which means you can't drink so much, alright?" He reaches to squeeze Yu's nose.
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 12/21/2022 1:35 AM
Noticing the other’s gesture, Yu had been quick to lean down more so that their heads could connect. Having a half a foot height difference could sometimes be a little strange in moments like that, but he had never minded adjusting to meet Yosuke’s touch. Those words hadn’t exactly been what he wanted to hear, though… “Didn’t I just say you don’t need to apologize?” The light smirk that made its way onto his face wasn’t mocking, simply amused at his partner’s timing. After a moment, he dropped back to a softer, more monotone expression, eyes falling to the floor. “It’s okay. You had a reason to be upset; I won’t push about things in the chat again.” Of course he felt guilty at upsetting Yosuke. He couldn’t imagine that his partner’s identity being revealed in the chat had been the best for him, and all of that talk about not knowing friends versus foes… If their heads hadn’t been touching, Yu would have physically shook those thoughts out of his head, but he held back that impulse. There was no need to worry Yosuke with stuff like that right now—He had probably just been getting anxious over nothing… That, and showing signs of not trusting Yosuke’s words really wouldn’t have been best right now. It would completely betray the trust he was trying to foster at the moment. Though, that pause said more than Yosuke’s words ever could, Yu’s eyes flickering away as he felt a pang ring through his chest. What did Yosuke mean, ‘do his best’...? Why couldn’t he just promise? What had been so dangerous that he couldn’t promise him his own safety…? “...Okay.” That was all he could answer with, even if it hardly sounded convincing. At least he had gotten the power to look back at Yosuke, even if he couldn’t force a smile. Hopefully it would be enough to relieve any worries that his partner had. …Yeah, probably not, but at least he could try to respond a little better to what Yosuke had to say next while he turned back to finish off their plates. The initial ask itself felt odd… What did he mean, ‘keep being himself’? Wasn’t he always himself? Although the drinking request made a little more sense… “I promise.” If Yosuke couldn’t promise him anything, he would at least keep true to himself. “Although you know I can’t deny drinks if I get invited out, especially if it’s with a pretty boy.” An awkward, attempted wink had made its way onto his face. Yeah… He couldn’t do that as well as Yosuke ever could, but he tried…
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/21/2022 1:43 AM
Yosuke perked a brow as Yu attempted to wink at him… only to burst into laughter. He couldn't help it! Yu just looked so… goofy, trying to wink! "Oh, my God, dude, you need some SERIOUS work!" He chuckled more, wiping his eyes, before looking up at his partner with a genuine, loving smile. "Thank you. This is exactly what I mean. I want us to try our best to be ourselves instead of… sad." He was going to try, damnit. He was tired of being such a downer, of crying so much, of smoking so much, of bottling up so much. That wasn't him. He was a bright guy, with a nice smile and a dumb laugh. He was named after the sun for a reason, right? "I promise I'm going to work hard to be myself from now on."
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 12/27/2022 9:10 AM
Well… At least his wink got a good reaction. Even if it wasn’t exactly what he was going for, Yosuke’s laughter was much more gratifying than any sort of slight flirtatious or flustered reaction could have been. It was genuine—Real, when so many of their interactions felt like they were feigning joy. “I want to learn from the best, so you’ll just have to teach me.” Another flirty line was attempted, but, really, trying to get anything to work there didn’t matter much at this point. All that mattered was seeing that smile for as long as he could, a bright, warm light in their otherwise freezing, dark apartment. The sight had even had him cracking a grin, past his typical forced expressions. Their situation wasn’t the best—far from it—but… They could still make this work. Nothing had stood in their way before, and there was no way they would let this situation tear them apart now, right? If they both tried, like Yosuke said, then… Everything would be fine. They both just needed to be themselves—To be happy. “You better.” That was all that he really could say as he shuffled around in a drawer for two pairs of chopsticks, setting them on each of their plates and holding one out to his partner with a softer grin. “Come on, let’s eat before our food gets cold.” If they could stay this way forever, that would have been a miracle. Then again, part of Yu knew that it wasn’t going to be as easy as Yosuke was making it out to be… But he wasn’t going to let that stop himself from being as happy as he could be, for Yosuke's sake. Really, for both of them. They needed this, or... Well, they would just keep spiraling and hurting each other, and that's the last thing Yu wanted. For the first time in years, maybe the future was bright. That's what Yu hoped for, at least.
9:10 AM
[ OPEN ]
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/16/2023 6:33 PM
@Kayla, male thot enemy of state ((haha hiiii.. shortform bullying here i go [A voice resounds in the back of Yosuke's mind. One, all too familiar, no doubt. Nor wanted here.] That "partner" of yours... to think he asked for honesty, only to leave when he didn't like what he saw. Tsk, Tsk... [The air would feel stagnant. Uncomfortable. Pressing for an answer, beyond what normally came of it.]
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/16/2023 6:37 PM
[Yosuke freezes as he hears the firey, sharp voice fill the back of his mind, a foreign object pressing into his thoughts. He stops what he was doing (going through his DVD collection), and waits for it to stop. He only breathes a sigh before continuing, mumbling just loud enough for the other to hear:] It was hard on him. He has his own issues too. I shouldn't have agreed to it. [Obviously, the sentiment had weighed heavy on him as well. To feel so pushed aside had really hurt his heart and his psyche... But he wasn't letting Kagutsuchi know that.]
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/16/2023 6:49 PM
...It was hard on him. [An imitation of Yosuke's own voice starts,- before being cut off. Hushing the other with a prolonged 'Shhh.' An indication of knowing the poison that lingered within that aching heart. The pain that must have been felt... And yet, refusal to show weakness.] Regardless of whether it was hard on him, he avoided you for so long. To not take action- to allow this spiral to deepen. Of course, I may be the root of your problems... But you would think he'd know not to push you away further.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/16/2023 7:01 PM
[Yosuke slowed his work, staring at the scattered covers and wondering this himself. Yu could have done more, sure, but that's not what happened. It was hard on him, in ways that Yosuke may not understand. He knew that it was hard to be around someone who was so depressed... but... Of course he wanted Yu to be there for him. To love him and cherish him and protect him no matter what. But he had to be strong, because that wasn't how it went.] Why even talk about him? He's getting ready to leave, so that bump in the road is behind us. We don't have to dwell on it anymore, and can just hope to do better for each other moving forward. [But Kagutsuchi was right... at least, about how Yosuke felt. He wanted Yu to be there for him, to not push him away.] What if I said you were right? That I feel that way-- what good would that do?
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/16/2023 7:18 PM
Why, it would do nothing 'good' at all... at least. Not instantaneously, hm? [His voice thrummed, melodically. Almost. Sharp tones, now soft. Gentle, even.] To allow these emotions to surface- this anger... this hurt. It may not feel good in the moment. But it might bring some respite, in the eye of the storm. [A sigh of his own, presence easing slightly. What might have felt overbearing and uncomfortable- now presented itself as a pleasant warmth.] Live those feelings authentically, and all of this. The role you play- shall become easier for you.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/16/2023 7:24 PM
[Yosuke's shoulder rise when he feels Kagutsuchi get more aggressively in his mind space, biting into his lip. His eyes searched around him as he thought this through, entertained it a moment... before scoffing.] Alright. If you want me to be angry and hurt, I will. [But he would be using it again Kagutsuchi himself. At the end of all this, he would us it to stand against him.]
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Emily eats TWO lemons 2/16/2023 7:30 PM
[A pause- before that presence becomes overbearing oncd more. Laughing a wicked, empty laugh.] ...You know what will become of them, should you disobey again. Yet you continue to persist, fighting against your strings. It would have been easier to give in to blissful ignorance, don't you think...? Oh, Prince... how you continue to entertain me so. Let's see how far that takes you. [Soon enough, once more... Yosuke would be left alone with his thoughts, that harsh presence- never truly fading. But dulling, as the deity took his leave.]
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/16/2023 7:35 PM
[At the last reminder of Yosuke's friends and family being in peril, he stops, stiffens, his eyes wide in horror as he wonders if he had messed up, wondering if he should plead sorry. He screwed his eyes shut, hissing as the voice pounds on the insides of his skull.] I'm not gonna do anything... I mean that. [It's all he manages to say, and he's back at square 1, just as stuck as before. He had already pushed things, already agitated the god... he needed to think of something else. But he couldn't with that horrendous headache. He just wanted to sleep, exhausted from the exchange. What could he do? That was the only thing on his mind for a long while...]
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/20/2023 6:58 PM
Have you been eating well? acPleased
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/20/2023 7:10 PM
Yeah, I have. Nao-san watches me eat like a hawk and Ted reminds me lol How about you? Are you taking good care of yourself?
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/20/2023 7:21 PM
I would like to think I am, at least. You would probably already hear Sho complaining if I didn't. acAgree
7:23 PM
I was just going to ask if you wanted me to pick anything up for you, since I just got off work and I need to grab a couple more things from my room, anyway.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/20/2023 11:50 PM
Um... this is a weird request, but could you send me some money to buy a sidecar for the bike? I wanna start taking Hikaru-chan to school here soon
11:50 PM
I know it's a lot, so you can say no..
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/21/2023 2:28 AM
...Yeah, I can do that. acSmile
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/21/2023 5:31 AM
Thanks babe 🙏
5:31 AM
I
5:31 AM
I mean t
5:31 AM
I lovw yoy
5:31 AM
Ugh
5:32 AM
I'm bad at this
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/21/2023 6:16 AM
Bad at what?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/21/2023 6:17 AM
Acting like I have it together ig I just end up being affectionate the second I talk to you lol And I know we're supposed to have space
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/21/2023 6:21 AM
...We're figuring things out. You don't have to be so hard on yourself about it, okay?
6:22 AM
I still want to be a part of your life, even with distance. I love you too much to just drop you entirely... Even if I accidentally basically just did that.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/21/2023 6:23 AM
No, no, don't say it like that. You were scared I get it I love you too and I guess I just need to accept that that's not going away, I just don't want to feel like I'm so attached to you that I can't survive on my own you know? I typed so much lol sorry I'm just spilling everything out
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/21/2023 6:25 AM
You don't have to brush off what I did. Even if I was scared, I still hurt you, didn't I? You can still be hurt, too.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/21/2023 6:25 AM
I'm not hurt anymore, I promise
6:26 AM
I just want us to leave that week behind... I mean, we can talk about it, but I want to recover from it too
6:26 AM
And I want YOU to recover from it
6:26 AM
Which means you can't villainize yourself ok???
6:27 AM
Sorry I'm nagging again LMAO
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/21/2023 6:27 AM
You're way too nice to me sometimes.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/21/2023 6:27 AM
Naw. I yelled at you pretty good already, remember?
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/21/2023 6:28 AM
I still don't think you yelled enough, all things considered.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/21/2023 6:29 AM
Listen... It wasn't that big of a deal. We both survived and we came out of it the other end. All we can do is look forward now There's a saying that's like: if you keep looking back while you walk forward, you'll keep tripping and falling
6:30 AM
Like I said, don't villainize yourself. I know everyone used to call you Mister Perfect, but you're literally just another human, and humans have dumb ways of dealing with things
6:31 AM
I dunno, it feels like all these years, after I got over my jealousy in high school, I really saw you as my equal. I never saw you as perfect. You're goofy and a little dumb and I love that about you. I love the fact that I can see those parts underneath the "mister perfect" disguise (edited)
6:32 AM
I keep just typing instead of sleeping, but I want you to understand what I mean, too
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/21/2023 6:34 AM
...I really think it's helped. Thank you, partner.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/21/2023 6:34 AM
Ah, ofc, partner 😉
6:34 AM
I wanna help you as much as you've helped others. I consider it my special job as your bestie and bf
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/21/2023 6:35 AM
You need sleep, but remember that you don't need me to survive. You're more than strong enough on your own. You always have been.
6:35 AM
And I want to help you, too. Especially if you're forced to deal with my dumbassery. acPleased
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/21/2023 6:36 AM
Yeah... But I still miss you. We've lived together for years, dude.
6:37 AM
You help me tons lol. No worries there 😘
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/21/2023 6:38 AM
Just imagine it like I'm on another work trip, but I'm still close enough to be by whenever you really need it. acHeart2
6:38 AM
Or, whenever I really need it.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/21/2023 6:39 AM
Lol ok, I will ❤️ I'm pretty tired now, so I'm gonna pass out Good night, partner. I hope you have a good sleep
6:39 AM
And I love you
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/21/2023 6:40 AM
Good night, partner. Sleep well. I love you too. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/22/2023 2:03 PM
Do you want to go out shopping for that sidecar together? I was going to get Hikaru a couple of presents for starting preschool, so we could make a date out of it. acSmile
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/22/2023 4:24 PM
Oh, yeah... I'd like that a lot. ❤️ LOL I may have another thing I could request for them...
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/22/2023 4:30 PM
Please tell me it's a little biker jacket.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/22/2023 4:43 PM
... I mean, that would be really really cute... But I'm thinking just a ukelele for kids. They're kinda expensive still...
4:43 PM
I don't want to take your money too much I'm sorry, I just quit my job tho and I keep thinking of things Karu-chan needs
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/22/2023 4:48 PM
Don't worry about it, partner. You know I have quite a bit to spare, and there's no one I would rather spend it on than Hikaru.
4:48 PM
…Well, other than you.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/22/2023 4:48 PM
Lol thank you
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/22/2023 4:49 PM
Why did you quit your job? Are you finally going to start working on your music more?
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/22/2023 4:49 PM
That, and... I just can't handle it right now. I didn't hate my job, not at all, but it was pulling me down more and more to watch so many kids
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/22/2023 5:14 PM
I'm sure Hikaru at least appreciates all the attention from his uncle now, but I hope you've at least found something else to get you out of the house... That, or I'll have to start taking you out more often.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/22/2023 5:33 PM
Oh well... I still go for my jogs? I may start taking Karu-chan to school now, after Ted overcomes the fear of leaving them alone there... and Naoya-san has taken me out for drinks and food
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/22/2023 5:38 PM
That's good to hear. Although, probably make sure Teddie doesn't actually go to school with them...
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/22/2023 6:15 PM
Well, of course, but she can say goodbye at the gate lol
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/22/2023 6:20 PM
I'm glad she's so caring, at least. She's a great mother.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/22/2023 6:47 PM
She is... I get worried about her, but her desire to raise Hikaru right is so.. I hope it makes them before happy haha
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/22/2023 6:51 PM
At least she has Naoya-senpai and you now to help her with everything.
6:53 PM
I'm sure she really appreciates both of you being there for her. Just make sure you're especially there for her on Friday, too.
6:53 PM
Oh, that's coming up really soon... I hope you don't mind me dragging you out shopping tomorrow to grab everything.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/22/2023 9:11 PM
I'm always gonna be there for her, I'm her big bro! ;) Tomorrow? Yeah, I don't mind. If it's while Teddie and Nao-san are at work, though, Karu-chan may have to come. Which is fine, they can pick out their own stuff.
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/22/2023 9:40 PM
I would love to go shopping with Hikaru, too. Although, alone time would be nice as well. acPleased
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/22/2023 9:41 PM
That's true, heh... we'll see what Ted or Nao-san has planned tomorrow
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 2/22/2023 10:33 PM
If Hikaru comes along, we could take them to eat and visit an aquarium or museum, and if it's just the two of us, we can... Well, I guess we can still do those things.
10:34 PM
Either way, it's a date. acHeart2
10:36 PM
Though, if it's just the two of us, I'll have to make up for being sick on Valentine's... I'll think about something nice.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 2/23/2023 1:13 AM
Awe... okay ;) It's a date.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/28/2023 9:13 PM
If Yosuke didn’t know better, he would probably say he was cursed. Actually, he would have definitely said that, considering how he had the ire of a terrible god breathing down his neck. He wondered to himself just how much pull Phlegathon had over the real world, wondering if the producer he met with had a palace or something… … who was he kidding? He was grasping for straws now, trying to find a reason why the world had chewed him up and shat him out. He was just… unlovable, unwanted, basic, stupid-- He quickens his pace out of the studio, smiling at the receptionist as though he didn’t just have his heart ripped out, and was out the front door before anyone else saw him. He tried to keep his expression muted, tried to show that he was just doing business as usual, not wanting to look like another sad sap denied his dreams. He finds Yu’s car, quickly opens the door, and slumps down in the seat-- but he knocks his eyebrow on the edge of the car first, and he ends up pausing to hiss in pain and hold his head. God, the universe hated him today. He breathes out shakily, getting settled, still holding his CD jewel case tightly. “He said no,” Yosuke stares at his lap, not offering anything else. He didn’t really want to retell the tale, but he knew he had to at some point. Yu would want to know, probably. @Phea: full-time twink bullier
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 3/29/2023 11:54 PM
Waiting out in the parking lot shouldn’t have made Yu as anxious as it had. It really didn’t make much sense, in all honesty—Yosuke’s music was incredible, at least in his (admittedly biased) opinion. Even if he was a little clumsy and had trouble watching what he said, the faux burnet was still an incredibly charming and handsome man, and had more than enough star potential to hold up his own career in the spotlight. Plus, the process of getting that appointment with a producer at the studio also seemed pretty smooth, almost seemingly guaranteeing Yosuke a deal. Then again, when had anything gone their way lately? At this point, Yu felt that they were inflicted with some terrible case of Murphy’s Law. Between the entire situation with Hi-no-Kagutsuchi, their personal love life, and Nanako moving up to Tokyo in the middle of all this, it felt like everything was falling apart, piece by piece. So, it wasn’t entirely unexpected when he caught sight of Yosuke approaching the car, his body language giving a clear sign of the answer he had been given in his melancholic rush. Yu was quick to tuck away the book he had been reading through and slip it into his bag in the back seat, wanting to put his full attention on Yosuke as soon as possible. Though, maybe the other would have preferred he didn’t, with the way his forehead banged against the top of the door… The action forced Yu to look away briefly, not wanting to somehow embarrass or upset Yosuke more than he already had been. …While he wanted to do his best to comfort Yosuke, right now, the best option was to wait for him to settle down a little. At least not make it seem like he was assuming things too soon—Who knows how Yosuke would have reacted if he had immediately spouted something about him not making it. (edited)
11:54 PM
Things… Still weren’t perfect after Yu had left to live with Sho. They could pretend everything was alright, but he still worried about doing anything that would upset Yosuke too much—Have the other snap at him again, telling him about how bad of a partner he had been. Get upset, and… Maybe leaving him for good this time. …That wasn’t anything he had to worry about right now. While Yosuke’s words had been short, it was all Yu needed. At least being given that wouldn’t make him sound like a total jerk who didn’t believe in his partner for saying the wrong thing before the confirmation. “...I’m sorry.” Apologizing wouldn't do anything, but it was his knee-jerk response. After all, asking Yosuke about it… Really didn’t seem like the best idea right now. Not with how shaken up he seemed about all of this. Contact always made Yosuke feel better. Yu hadn’t entirely understood why, but he was still quick to reach across the front seat, attempting to lightly pry his partner’s hand away from the CD case and into his own. While he wasn’t entirely sure that his gesture would work, he at the very least had to make the effort. With the strength Yosuke was holding that case with, Yu feared it would end up shattering in his hands… If that were to happen, it would have only upset Yosuke more, and that was the last thing that his partner needed right now. In a last ditch effort to help Yosuke loosen up a bit, he leaned his body lightly across the select lever and made contact with the other’s upper arm. If he could hold Yosuke right now, he would have, but… That wasn't exactly feasible from the driver and passenger seats. For now, all he could do was lightly cuddle up, placing his head on the other’s shoulder to provide some sort of warmth.
11:54 PM
“You could always try to go indie.” Did he know exactly what that meant or anything it entailed? Well… No, not really. Admittedly, he had just been echoing the lingo he heard Yosuke and their idol friends use, hoping he was giving any half-decent advice. That was the best he could do when it came to stuff like this… Maybe if Yosuke had gone into law, it would have been a different story, but he was oblivious to the hierarchy that ruled over the music industry, nor the intricacies that made his head spin when Rise started to go on about it… “But your music is incredible—If you keep trying, you’ll find a producer who appreciates that, even if it takes going through a couple of rejections.” In reality, even he knew that was easier said than done. When it came to pursuing dreams, Yu had basically been given everything in life on a silver platter. Protecting the ones he loved was a pretty vague life goal, but being given the opportunity to serve under Mitsuru-san in the Shadow Operatives after his efforts during the P-1 Climax had allowed him to achieve just that. Well, it had for the past decade, at least. Now, between Yosuke and Nanako, he wasn't sure how successful his attempts to protect anyone had ever been. …Not the point. Safe to say, he hadn't been put in a place like Yosuke where he ever had to truly struggle to achieve everything he wanted to in his personal life. There was only so far he could go as to relate to Yosuke’s struggle—But, as his partner, he would do his absolute best.
11:54 PM
“They don’t know what they’re missing out on.” Bringing his head up slightly, he placed a light kiss on the other’s cheek and tried to give him the warmest smile he could muster. How much that gesture would do, he wasn’t sure, but he still tried to give it his all. “Don’t let this get you down. I know you’ll make it.” That little he was sure of, but under Hi-no-Kagutsuchi… Well, he wasn’t so sure about that part, but there was no way he could utter that part out loud, for several reasons.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/30/2023 9:32 PM
Yosuke welcomed the touch immediately, his taunt muscles melting under Yu's touch as he turned to bury his face into his partner's neck, leaning over the car console in return. Breathing in Yu's familiar musk, he felt a sense of being home, something he had been missing since the other moved out. It was good for them to focus on themselves for a while, sure, but Yosuke still associated his home with Yu… He stayed like that for a while, and tried not to get mad as Yu spoke. It was so easy for him to get angry these days… he was on edge and emotional, feeling constantly watched and judged– quite literally. He wanted to fly off the handle, to say that these empty words of comfort weren't helping… But Yosuke instead took a deep breath, his body slumping into his partner. That would do absolutely nothing but hurt Yu for trying to comfort him, which wasn't deserved at all. Yu said what he thought would help, he offered comfort and other avenues. Yosuke getting mad at that wouldn't have been fair– wouldn't have made sense. He would have just been lashing out at his beloved partner… That's what Kagutsuchi wants, isn't it? For my relationships to fail, for my life to be so terrible that I turn to darkness… I can't let him win. Yosuke kept his face hidden as he thought everything over, the previous scene in the producer's office playing in his mind over, and over… "He said… my stuff was shallow… uninspired," he finally pulls away, staring at their connected hands, rubbing Yu's fingers. "He said that it sounded like every other pop artist out there, derivative and stale." He pursed his lips. He couldn't bring himself to cry…just felt… numb. "He's right. I don't think… I was putting my all into these songs. I wanted to finish the album, so I pumped out whatever I thought sounded good…" He looks at the disk– the tosses it in the back seat. "I think, if I'm going to create something I'm proud of, I really have to create songs from my heart…"
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 4/1/2023 10:33 PM
Waiting for Yosuke to speak felt like an eternity, but Yu simply worked to quell his anxieties, taking a deep breath of his own and shutting his eyes momentarily to clear his headspace. His partner just needed a little time to find his words—Not that he could blame him, with what had just been thrown his way. It was just another negative thing falling in a line of dominos that currently seemed to be toppling down around them. His right hand hovered briefly at his side, waiting for the moment Yosuke's tears would begin to flow, but… That moment never came. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so surprised, with just how… Draining, everything had been, but his arm was left dangling awkwardly for a few moments, eventually finding itself landing on the steering wheel. …Maybe his partner was trying to find a more constructive way to take his rejection, but Yu knew that couldn’t have been his true perspective on it. Even if his music had been a little shallow, he still worked hard on it. Yu could always hear him putting his heart and soul into his songs around the house, making sure his voice could be heard in every single note and lyric. For him to say he had simply put together whatever he thought would sell best… It didn’t sit right with him. If Yosuke really wanted to take that perspective, though, he’d bite his tongue and support him to find something that had truly met the vision he was looking for. “What do you feel from your heart?” Was that something he really wanted an answer to right now? …No, probably not, but it was the best way to get Yosuke to open up, even if just a little. After all, if there was something Yu could help with, emotions were a little easier for him to understand than music. “You can tell me if it's negative.” The words were accompanied with a faint smile and light squeeze of his partner’s hand. With how things had been lately, that reassurance was necessary, as much as it pained him to have to tell his partner such a thing…
10:33 PM
To be honest, after everything… It felt a little terrifying to be open about their emotions, at least on Yu’s side. With all that Yosuke had been going through, he was so persistent to be a positive influence. To not let that smile drop, at all costs. Not that he had done perfectly at that, but… The manic pixie dream boy would be the role he played to the best of his abilities. That’s what Yosuke needed right now—Not some sad sack with all his dumb personal issues. After all, worrying about his sister coming to Tokyo due to things from over a decade ago didn’t exactly compare to the malicious deity hovering over his partner’s shoulder at seemingly every waking moment. That wasn’t something that Yosuke had to do. His partner should have been free to be open with him—At least, open with him about what he could say. He couldn’t blame Yosuke if he didn’t trust him enough to tell him what he was able to, either, but… At the very least, he wanted Yosuke to feel like he had the option to, and that he wouldn’t run away again if his partner was honest with him.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 4/3/2023 7:47 PM
With how Yu had constantly been trying to uplift Yosuke, trying to cover up his own emotions in favor of supporting him… Yosuke didn’t quite like the way Yu tacked on “you can tell me if it’s negative.” Of course his heart screamed out in agony, swirled in a pit in darkness, but he didn’t want to dump all that on Yu. He already saw that Yu couldn’t handle it… as nicely as he wanted to put it. Yu had a bleeding heart, and their empathetic connection made Yosuke fairly aware of whenever Yu was down, and vise versa. But now, it was like there was a wall there-- Yosuke could feel that Yu was anxious, antsy, and so could everyone else... but Yu refused to face it. “Face your true self” was something they had both come to terms with in high school, but Yu had only buried his emotions more… Not that Yosuke was any better. He caught the darkness that followed him, a pair of golden eyes watching him from the corners of his vision, in his own reflections. He knew he had something brewing deep inside himself, but he struggled to know what exactly it was. He may just have to face it head on, accept it, and move forward… Perhaps that was part of the problem. Maybe Yu didn’t know how to word his feelings. Even in high school, Yu listened and listened, supported everyone, but in the end... did anyone listen back? Yosuke tried desperately, to the point where he could read Yu with just a glance into his eyes, but he still felt disconnected, alienated from his partner… Yosuke sighed. This wasn’t about that. He squeezed Yu’s hand, looking up to meet his eyes with a meek smile. He had to be honest, Yu was trying to be there for him-- it was the only way Yu would be honest in return, right? He couldn’t demand Yu tell him everything and then not tell him how he felt… “I mean… right now, it’s pretty dark in there…” He touched at his chest, looking outside, people-watching as he spoke. “I’m worried about everything-- about you, about Ted, about Karu-chan, about Nana-chan…” He breathes, “About… my worth, I guess… I know I don’t need to be working or actively doing anything to be worthy of things, but I struggle to face that…” He closes his eyes, slumping into his seat, head facing the ceiling of the car. “But if I were to make songs… I would try to invoke that darkness. Try to… tame it, and make it my own,” He opens his eyes, still looking up. “Try to call out and let others know they’re not alone… I would want you to feel my love, and I would want everyone who listens to feel like their own darkness isn’t forever…” He smiles at Yu, laughing gently, “But… I have to put it into practice. I can’t just wax poetic, I have to work on my stuff in a productive way. I think, during this break in work that I have, I’ll use this time to really make stuff I’m proud of…” There was a pause, before he looks at Yu again, “But, enough about that-- what about you? Do you still want to go to dinner, even though I was told no? We can celebrate new beginnings, or something.”
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 4/4/2023 6:31 PM
Despite positing the question, Yu hadn’t truly expected such an honest response. While he would have responded with it dancing around his more negative emotions, his partner had been completely honest… While he couldn’t say he was exactly comfortable with all of it—hearing about the darkness and worry that plagued a partner wouldn’t be good for anyone in any situation—at least there was a positive approach to it all. That was something he had always admired about Yosuke. Even in the worst situations, it seemed like he almost always tried to find some sort of positive. Granted, finding that had been harder now than it usually had, but there had always been some sort of effort to stay positive. To keep his energy up for everyone. Yosuke deserved to have some brightness in his life—Yu would do his best to emulate that, even if he wasn’t nearly as good as Yosuke when it came to being a ray of positivity. “That’s a good way to look at it.” Finally, he found a place to put his right hand, moving it from the steering wheel to rest over the hand on his partner’s chest. It was a little awkward, but the spirit was there. “I’m excited to hear what that dark heart has to produce, but you know I’ll feel your love in whatever you make.” When questions were directed towards him, he couldn’t help but blink for a moment. What about him…? The question might have been accompanied by a question about dinner, but… It still felt odd. The last thing he wanted to do was bring it up, since it would probably just have Yosuke worrying over him, like he always had whenever something negative was brought up, and he just… Couldn’t do that. Not right now.
6:31 PM
“It's a little too early for dinner.” Of all people, Yu couldn’t really say that. His eating schedule had been all over—Not necessarily because he hadn’t felt like eating, but trying to preoccupy himself with so much work, he simply hadn’t been on a consistent schedule lately. Sometimes, dinner was at four. Sometimes, it was past midnight. Either way, he wasn’t going to bring that up to Yosuke, and just skim past Yosuke’s suggestion for now. “We could do a photoshoot in the park to get started on finding a new album cover.” That… Hadn't exactly been necessary. Throughout the years, Yu had taken countless photos of his partner. When his room had been slightly more homely, largely due to his friends’ requests (and Adachi-san’s annoyance during the move to their current place that Yu’s place was somehow even less lively than his), the majority of polaroids that had been plastered around Yu’s closet doors were of Yosuke and the cats. His digital camera memory cards and phone gallery hadn’t been much different, either. Pictures weren’t the main goal of the trip. While Yu would take any opportunity to snap a few photos of his muse, the weather had finally begun to warm up just a little, and, after all the stress of the past few weeks, maybe actually having a chance to take in the nature on a calm walk, disconnected from everything would have been a welcomed distraction. After all, as much as Yu did enjoy the city, sometimes he needed a break, even if just for a moment…
6:31 PM
Maybe that would have been easier if he could just take a short transfer somewhere else. Sendai or Kyoto could have had some sort of shadow activity that they needed support with—but Makoto-senpai had already taken that idea off the table before he could ever even put in the application. Sure, Adachi-san could go wherever he wanted in the middle of this, but Yu had been stuck here as things just grew heavier and heavier on his shoulders, due to that endless responsibility he had to everyone else. “I brought some food for the pigeons and cats, so you could even get a couple pictures with them if we find any friendly ones.” Forcing himself out of his own thoughts, he was quick to give Yosuke an airy laugh that hadn’t quite met his eyes accompanied with another soft kiss against his partner’s lips. Things were going to be okay. He just… Needed some time to breathe and act like everything was okay.
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Kayla, male thot enemy of state 4/27/2023 9:05 PM
Yosuke watched Yu as the other spoke, then seemed to change the subject all together. Well… Yosuke wouldn't lie, he was getting a little peckish, so he did pout as dinner was removed from the proverbial table. But one look at Yu and Yosuke knew that he was struggling with something behind those eyes, perhaps trying to run… What right did Yosuke have to deny him? Yu needed time to relax too, and he probably didn't feel great after Yosuke laid his heart out. Yu was so caring, too caring, to the point of hurting himself. It was like trying to help a rose with thorns– you just kept getting pricked. Yosuke best not think of himself that way, and instead nodded and smiled. He caught Yu's fake laugh, and tried to make up for it with a more genuine one of his own. Despite the smothering air between them, he still enjoyed being with his partner… Of course Yu kept duck and cat food on him. Yosuke remembers the other bringing mystery cat food with them before, on a walk much like this. "I didn't know you kept duck feed too," he quipped, moving to take Yu's hand as they drove to the nearby park. It was chilly in the shade, but the sun was warm and inviting. Families were out in droves now that the weather was nice. Yosuke was reminded of his previous job when he saw all the kids playing, then felt the sting of shame in his stomach. To throw that away, all because of relationship problems… No, he was dealing with a lot. He had to be kinder to himself. For a moment, the two of them walked hand in hand, Yosuke talking about mundane things to fill the silence. He really sounded like his old self, casually making conversation without a care in the world. But he thinks the question that haunted him: why didn't Yu want to tell him anything? Did he not find Yosuke reliable anymore…? Did he just not want to put too much on him? Yosuke would have felt better if Yu confided in him– but damnit, last time Yu did that, Yosuke blew up at him. It started even before that, right? Honestly, it was around… Yosuke stopped walking as realization hit him. "Sorry, I just…" he looks away, eyes scanning the river nearby. "I think I know why you don't…tell me things these days." Yosuke met Yu's eyes. "It's 'cause he's listening, huh?" Yosuke felt bad after saying that, like it was an excuse for his own behavior, and he found himself looking away and rubbing his neck. "Sorry, I guess I just… was trying to figure it out. It's easy to blame myself, you know…?" (edited)
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Phea: full-time twink bullier 5/3/2023 12:42 PM
Was he trying to run away…? While Yu didn’t like to think of his actions in such a light, it was hard to deny that he hadn’t been completely honest with himself—That he hadn’t been completely there, facing the truth, like he knew he should have been. Then again, even if that was what he should have done, as the wildcard that had seen the truth through the fog, looking directly towards that wouldn’t be doing anyone any favors right now… It hurt too much, and facing all of that would just bring everyone else down when there was so little to be done about that truth. After all, it wasn’t like the Shadow Operatives were in a place to be making major moves without getting extensive approval from various other departments, and even if they could somehow get all of the go-aheads needed to pull drastic measures to open up Phlegethon’s inner layers, that could take months, maybe even years… Who wanted to face that sort of truth? So, playing a simple couple without any issues seemed like the best play, at least right now. Hi-no-Kagutsuchi would simply have to cringe at all of their ‘coupley’ interactions—Maybe it would even get the deity to stop peering over his partner’s shoulder for a few moments, as much of a pipe dream that might have been. “I learned that cat treats can be harmful to them, so I got some oats.” Idle conversation, but that certainly wasn’t uninvited right now. It was nice to lighten the mood—to act like everything was normal. To let himself smile in a way that hadn’t been entirely forced. “They’re good for the birds, and taste better than cat food if I’m in a life or death situation.”
12:42 PM
…Given his line of work, probably not entirely a joke answer. After all, he’d admittedly eaten a lot worse than cat food in order to keep himself from going unconscious… The taste of rancid gravy had never left his mind… Nor that grass, or expired milk, or a pear that had sat in the fridge for way too long and turned into something else entirely… Really, he had eaten a lot of things that made it a shock he hadn’t died in real life yet just from his… Adventurous food habits alone. In comparison to all of that, flavorless oats seemed like a five star meal. At least Yosuke usually kept him from consuming such horrors in his daily diet… Usually. Sometimes, Yu would still find himself eating something that had been far past its expiration, sometimes out of pure obliviousness, and sometimes in some odd curiosity that almost always blew up in his face. Like many things, those habits had been a little more prominent since he had moved out. Not that he was a child that couldn’t take care of himself—but things like that tended to slip in a little more without someone constantly watching out for his small, dumb habits. Sho might have been a close friend, something almost akin to a brother, but no one could ever know him as well as Yosuke… So, the stupid small things piled up, only intensified by the lack of care Yu started to feel towards himself and his own needs. After all, right now, others needed his own help more than he did. Nanako was starting college, Sho was dealing with all of the trauma coming back from Hi-no-Kagutsuchi’s reappearance, Adachi-san had his usual health problems that just got worse and worse, Dojima-san hadn’t exactly been doing great with having his only daughter move out, and Yosuke… Where to even start with that? It really wasn’t best to think of now, simply focused on the brief time he got with his partner. Yosuke needed him more than ever, so he couldn’t let himself fall into those sort of spiraling thoughts.
12:42 PM
…Oh, no. Yosuke’s sudden change, from the casual attitude that Yu oh-so-desperately craved trailing off into a quiet contemplating, steps coming to a stop with it, left nothing but a pit in his stomach. Why should he be afraid of what his partner had to say…? That only made him feel like more of an asshole when he thought a little more about it… Gulping as he glanced back towards the faux brunet, the anxiety spike within only got worse when he caught the way Yosuke’s gaze turned away. While Yu hadn’t particularly enjoyed eye contact, it wasn’t comfortable to lose sight of the other’s eyes completely. It was… Terrifying. It was impossible to make out what he might have been really feeling, but… Whatever it was, it probably wasn’t good. That was made only worse by how long it felt Yosuke’s words were stretched out, feeling the pit in his stomach grow… What was he getting at? Why Yu didn’t tell him things…? There were a lot of ways this could go terribly wrong, but… Maybe not unsurprisingly, Yosuke had gotten pretty close. At least, he had part of it. “Is it that obvious?” It was difficult to manage a laugh, but he found it in him to at least force one out. The twisting sensation that he had felt in his stomach had at least begun to ease itself. At least, it had, until his partner mentioned self-blame—Something they were both all too good at doing. Something that he knew Yosuke of all people really didn’t need right now. “...None of this is on you.” Really, truly, he meant that. Even if things had been rocky between them, to the point of Yu being unable to stay in a place where Yosuke was suffering without breaking, it wasn’t his fault. “Don’t blame yourself. Everything that’s going wrong is because of him.” That bastard would pay for what he did, too… But, there was no reason to give him so much focus right now. That’s just what he wanted. The quicker they moved past him, the better.
12:42 PM
“Once this is all over, I could dump all of my problems on you.” If this will ever be over. As much as some deep, dark part of him wanted to say that, he kept his mouth shut. There wasn’t any reason to be so pessimistic—It would only drag him further down to a point he really didn’t want to reach. One that benefited absolutely no one. So, blocking that out, he made sure to deepen his smirk, keeping his tone a little playful. That’s what suited the situation, wasn’t it? “Then we could consider ourselves even.” …Well, maybe he wouldn’t talk about all of his problems—that would be way too overwhelming, even for someone as strong as Yosuke—he would at least try to be honest about what mattered, for both of their sakes. “For now, just lay all your troubles on me.” Stepping to stand in front of his partner, he wore a soft, minute smile in an attempt to lessen Yosuke’s worries and fears, even if just a little. “I’m not much of a therapist, but I can at least relieve your troubles for a bit.” Without a moment of hesitation, he pressed a few light, brief kisses along the other’s cheek and neck, getting just about as far down as he could without having to pull on any sort of fabric to go further, instead just resting his head in the crook of the other’s neck. Public decency hadn’t been his greatest strong suit—really, taking into account the outside world in general hadn’t been something he was incredible at—but he understood that Yosuke had limits that he didn’t. Ones that he was at least smart enough not to push, especially not in a place like this. Not that anyone was around right now, but his partner probably would have rather died than be caught in some sort of awkward situation.
12:42 PM
…It was always funny, thinking about how they, of all people, got together. Even since high school, they had been pretty clear opposites of one another. Yu, at least as he had been told by several others throughout his time in Inaba, came off as a cool, banchō type—Slightly ironic, given those who came to know him well saw him as much more a ‘weirdo’, and he hardly saw himself as any sort of delinquent… Yosuke, on the other hand, had been a bit of a disaster, for lack of a better term. Constantly tripping over himself, trying hard to be cool and just coming off as goofy, and often giving into other’s pressure despite trying to be the reasonable one of the group. The gap hadn’t closed much as they got older, despite a shared desire to help others and picking up on some mutually terrible dating and coping mechanisms. Though, at least Yu hadn’t typically dumped a girl after a week or two—Although, depending on the length of his work trips, it might not have been much longer. Then again, how wouldn’t they have gotten together eventually? Yosuke had been one of the few select individuals who understood him—Who could actually make him smile and laugh, past the usual mask he was so used to keeping up to appear normal. While Yosuke didn’t have issues on that exact scale, Yu had still been someone who his partner could show weakness around, and vice versa. Well… Until lately, but that hadn’t been on either of them. Despite how horrible everything had been right now, they would always stick together. That idea was at least something he could take small comfort in, as much as it hurt to be forced apart due to circumstances largely out of either of their control.
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