With how Yu had constantly been trying to uplift Yosuke, trying to cover up his own emotions in favor of supporting him… Yosuke didn’t quite like the way Yu tacked on “you can tell me if it’s negative.” Of course his heart screamed out in agony, swirled in a pit in darkness, but he didn’t want to dump all that on Yu. He already saw that Yu couldn’t handle it… as nicely as he wanted to put it.
Yu had a bleeding heart, and their empathetic connection made Yosuke fairly aware of whenever Yu was down, and vise versa. But now, it was like there was a wall there-- Yosuke could feel that Yu was anxious, antsy, and so could everyone else... but Yu refused to face it. “Face your true self” was something they had both come to terms with in high school, but Yu had only buried his emotions more…
Not that Yosuke was any better. He caught the darkness that followed him, a pair of golden eyes watching him from the corners of his vision, in his own reflections. He knew he had something brewing deep inside himself, but he struggled to know what exactly it was. He may just have to face it head on, accept it, and move forward…
Perhaps that was part of the problem. Maybe Yu didn’t know how to word his feelings. Even in high school, Yu listened and listened, supported everyone, but in the end... did anyone listen back? Yosuke tried desperately, to the point where he could read Yu with just a glance into his eyes, but he still felt disconnected, alienated from his partner…
Yosuke sighed. This wasn’t about that. He squeezed Yu’s hand, looking up to meet his eyes with a meek smile. He had to be honest, Yu was trying to be there for him-- it was the only way Yu would be honest in return, right? He couldn’t demand Yu tell him everything and then not tell him how he felt…
“I mean… right now, it’s pretty dark in there…” He touched at his chest, looking outside, people-watching as he spoke. “I’m worried about everything-- about you, about Ted, about Karu-chan, about Nana-chan…” He breathes, “About… my worth, I guess… I know I don’t need to be working or actively doing anything to be worthy of things, but I struggle to face that…” He closes his eyes, slumping into his seat, head facing the ceiling of the car.
“But if I were to make songs… I would try to invoke that darkness. Try to… tame it, and make it my own,” He opens his eyes, still looking up. “Try to call out and let others know they’re not alone… I would want you to feel my love, and I would want everyone who listens to feel like their own darkness isn’t forever…”
He smiles at Yu, laughing gently, “But… I have to put it into practice. I can’t just wax poetic, I have to work on my stuff in a productive way. I think, during this break in work that I have, I’ll use this time to really make stuff I’m proud of…”
There was a pause, before he looks at Yu again, “But, enough about that-- what about you? Do you still want to go to dinner, even though I was told no? We can celebrate new beginnings, or something.”